Liking a coworker

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Liking a coworker

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 2, 2015 at 9:43 pm #69815

    Hey I didn’t mean at all that you are indicating or advocating any thing. Sorry I if my texts reflected that sense.
    I believe that the worst case has happened so I am making up my mind to face it.
    Regarding your second paragraph… Am I supposed to do anything if she is feeling guilty or just wait and watch.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 2, 2015 at 11:15 pm #69817

    It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t sending out mixed signals or something that I wasn’t accurately articulating.

    As for the second paragraph, just keep doing what you’re doing. It seems like things are going pretty well for the both of you, so whatever you’re doing now I would just continue to do!

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 6, 2015 at 10:53 pm #70002

    How have things been going lately? Anything noteworthy or new?

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 7, 2015 at 8:25 am #70013

    Humm dont know how to summarize. Her mobile phone got messed up. So she was not texting. Now she got a temporary phone, but has not instaled the texting app(whatsapp) on which we used to communicate. Now she got fever, so no texting again.

    I dont know the less/no texting is because of her disinterest on me or some other reason. But I have stopped fearing. Let it happen whatever is happening.

    Since 5-6 months so much energy was spent on her. Now its taking time to undo al the things. Its not impossible but I am just concerned that I am goign to loose my cool.

    Offcoure I am her manager so I have ti interact with her but personal level interaction and all, I dont know how people still can be cool.

    I am frustrated to be honest. In some deep part of mind, it is not not accepting it at all.

    Do you suggest me visiting ay psychiatrist ? Or shall I wait and watch.

    Thanks for all your help bro.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 7, 2015 at 11:24 am #70040

    It sounds like the lack of texting is due to a lot of outside issues (phone problems, illness, etc.), so it doesn’t seem to be that she’s disinterested from what I’m hearing. And you have the right attitude about it! Whatever happens, happens.

    And don’t worry, you won’t loose your cool. It takes time and patience, which you have shown a lot of. Might I suggest you try to find something or someone else to focus some of your extra time on? It’s always good to be looking just in case something catches your eye!

    As for seeing a psychiatrist, that’s totally up to you and in no way am I qualified to decide that. I will say that I would think you wouldn’t need to see one because what you’re going through is more heart break than some sort of bigger problem.

    Just keep your cool, relax, and enjoy life! One person’s rejection just means someone else gets a chance at ya, which is great!

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 8, 2015 at 6:55 am #70120

    @dmj106 I am doing whatever I feel to do. When I was willingly ceasing the poking and teasing part, I was not feeling good. I am not doing anything in planned way. The more I plan the more expectation comes. Also I dont want myself to be taken as granted for someone.
    Sometimes I feel that she has taken me granted. Or she is just passing her free time texting to me. Don’t know if she is good to me or because she needs favor hence being good to me. These sort fo things coming to mind. Hard to control. Sometimes I feel desparate to ask her the reason.
    She is suffering from viral fever. I converted her casual leaves to work from home as a gesture of goodwill. I usualy do it for all employees working under me. I am texting her asking about health.
    My daily routine and work schedule has became normal now. But only in the times when I have nothing to do, I get bothered. I dont face any issue while talking with her face to face.
    I hope I am not bothering you.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 9, 2015 at 3:40 pm #70227

    Not bothering me at all! Just remember this little piece of advice: happiness is the key. Do what makes you happy! If there’s a particular way that you want to handle the situation because it’s less stress on you and easier to manage, than absolutely do it. Don’t worry so much about whether she’s taking you for granted or whatnot, just live your life to the fullest. Out of the millions and milllions of people in the world, she’s only one. How she acts shouldn’t dictate how you go about living your life, just remember that. Don’t change who you are, because who you are is great!

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 10, 2015 at 12:13 pm #70271

    Yes very true. Your line “How she acts shouldn’t dictate how you go about living your life” has opened my mind !! Wish I knew it before. Anyways I am on it. Will keep you posted about how things are going 🙂
    Thanks !

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 10, 2015 at 12:50 pm #70272

    No problem man, you’ll do just fine! BE HAPPY!

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 22, 2015 at 9:36 am #71566

    Hey! It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you. What’s going on with the lady? Hopefully you’re at least feeling good about yourself, which is ultimately what really matters.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 22, 2015 at 10:18 pm #71641

    Hi.. thanks for checking in 🙂
    Ya things are better. I am not much concerned about her(but sometimes yes). Even in office I keep doing my work after assigning her some tasks. I am going for outings and movies. Sometimes I tell her sometimes I don’t. I also ceased to start texting from my side. She does when she wants and I reply.
    But in office, that teasing part continues. She hits, scratches, pinches and teases me a lot till I get irritated. I think I don’t know much about her. She is not on any social networking website. Neither we have any common friend.

    I am not ignoring her but I am not also putting attention to her. Sometimes I feel to say her that “you sent me mixed signals that’s why I showed interest in you. I am not a clingy person.” But then I feel why to give a fuck. I don’t now what will be the reaction. I am happy with my condition now. I am happily eating & enjoying my life.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 22, 2015 at 11:36 pm #71643

    Good to hear! It sounds like things are going pretty well and that you’re not stressing over things you can’t control, which is great. And I agree, if you don’t believe that you’ll be able to be comfortable on your birthday having her there, then you definitely shouldn’t have her there making you feel uneasy. It seems like you two are finally getting to feel safer and more secure with each other. I’m glad to hear things are going well!

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 29, 2015 at 10:29 am #72192

    Hi, I think things are getting saturated. But sometimes I cant stop myself teasing her. Texting is very less. Sometimes if she has some work, she texts. Some times she randomly texts and updates. Its totally unpredictable now. Sometimes I feel to text her, but then think that it may hamper my process of moving on. At the same time I think that what she might think if I stop texting her. In office things are normal. We get less time personally. Neither I try to get personal time for her.
    I have decided one thing : whatever will happen, I will face it. I am not going to resist. Afterall everything in life doesnt happen as you have planned.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    January 29, 2015 at 10:43 am #72193

    I also have stopped giving personal favors to her in office. Because when I do it, I feel I am doing something planned for her. I have not changed my behavior towards her. I am still good and friendly to her. If she is also good, then she wont mind nor think.

    I used to keep her updated about each and everything I was doing. Now I have stopped all that from my side. She also seems to have done the same.
    I feel bad about this, but hope this will help in future. I don’t want myself to get habituated for her. Some or other day I have to leave her. So better to get in habit of that from now itself.
    I don’t know neither I put effort to know what she thinks.

    I don’t have any ill will for her.

    The bad thing is that, I have started smoking again. She doesn’t knows this. Don’t know I shall tell this her or not. If she will ask, I wont lie.

    Rest other things are fine. I am eating well, sleeping well.

    Thanks for all your support.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    January 29, 2015 at 11:32 am #72195

    Glad to hear that things are going better for you! Hopefully you can quit the smoking (assuming that you want to, of course). You are doing what’s ultimately going to be best for you by providing yourself a buffer between yourself and her. It shows that you don’t need her and it’s going to help you moving on with other women who come into your life.

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