Long Distance Relationship

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Long Distance Relationship

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Universal
    Universal
    Participant
    March 31, 2020 at 9:03 pm #232412
    Long Distance Relationship

    I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for about four months now. She lives an hour and a half away.

    We only get to see each other on the weekends because of the distance.

    I like her a lot, but she will be 30 in July and still lives with her parents. I didn’t care at first but i now realize she is totally content with her job (Administrative clerk) and doesn’t want to try and better herself financially. When we first started dating i thought she had a decent job. It wasn’t until recently i realized what exactly her job entailed.

    She mostly comes and stays with me on the weekends because i have my own place. The only problem i have is i have to make trips there every month to see her and i have no where to stay. i have to stay at casinos, her friends’ houses, and her family member houses. It feels weird.

    What would other people do in this situation? Would you continue a relationship with someone where you had no where to stay, and didn’t want to better their career?

    Quezzy
    Quezzy
    Participant
    April 1, 2020 at 12:44 pm #232468

    How is that working out for both of you guys, are coping is there any challenges?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 1, 2020 at 1:14 pm #232475

    “She lives an hour and a half away.”
    “..she will be 30 in July and still lives with her parents.”
    ” she is totally content with her job (Administrative clerk) and doesn’t want to try and better herself financially”
    “..i have to make trips there every month to see her and i have no where to stay.”

    Clearly it doesn’t sound like you’re very happy being in this relationship.
    If you or your mate has to change your core being it means you’re with the WRONG person!
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want in a mate.
    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Suffering is optional.

    LDRs were meant to be temporary.
    Whenever there is no realistic light at the end of the tunnel for when someone will relocate couples drift apart.
    It’s the counting down of the months/weeks/days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LDR that keeps it strong! The only worthwhile reason for being in a LDR is the belief (she/he) is “the one”.
    If you’re just dating someone for the FUN of it you may as well do that locally!

    dazai
    dazai
    Participant
    April 2, 2020 at 11:37 am #232503

    damn. y’know, chuuya and i have been in a distance relationship for 5 years and it seemed to work out perfectly fine? I think? I did receive a few messages of him indicating that he hates me, but it didn’t really affect our relationship in the end lol.

    Daven75
    Daven75
    Participant
    April 4, 2020 at 4:51 pm #232576

    I personally would say to heavily think about what you asked and ask yourself if you thinks hes someone to stick with.

    lita cristani4555
    lita cristani4555
    Participant
    April 5, 2020 at 9:18 am #232582

    I personally would say to heavily think about what you asked and ask yourself if you thinks hes someone to stick with.

    290379_
    290379_
    Participant
    April 5, 2020 at 12:04 pm #232584

    Have you sat down and spoken to her about your concerns? Maybe she doesn’t see things the same way you do and it would do some good to talk it over.

    Heisenbergo091
    Heisenbergo091
    Participant
    April 5, 2020 at 7:19 pm #232587

    When you first met did you knonw where she lives?And if so why you started something when you are clearly dont know her so well?

    Blessedfilipina
    Blessedfilipina
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 5:14 am #232591

    Hello everyone,

    im new here my name is Marieh im born again christian,i live in the Philippines

    Universal
    Universal
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 5:50 pm #232600
    Reply To: Long Distance Relationship

    I ended up breaking up with her the other night. There was just too much uncertainty in the relationship. I didn’t really see a future. She told me she was content with her career. I just felt like she could of done a little bit better. But the icing on the cake was not having a place to stay when I traveled to her city (especially when I saw her lack of ambition and not wanting to get a little bit ahead). It felt like she wanted someone to take care of her and that’s not what I was looking for.. I want someone who has something to at least offer a little bit.

    There were also a bunch of red flags:

    – After 5 weeks of dating (seeing each other on weekends and me traveling to see her, too) she never once offered to pay for anything. So once night out at a bar I asked if she could get me a beer and she looked at me and walked off (disappeared for about 30 mins).

    – she would call me/text me at work. Would get upset if I didn’t answer after a couple hours.

    lindasmiles
    lindasmiles
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 6:36 pm #232603
    Reply To: Long Distance Relationship

    That’s not a good sign the relationship can work, its good you noticed that earlier.

    Universal
    Universal
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 8:09 am #232601
    Reply To: Long Distance Relationship

    – she wanted me to let her know I couldn’t text her while I was at work. And we talked anywhere from 4-7 times a day. But if I didn’t answer after a couple of hours it would upset her. She seemed too insecure/low self- esteem. If I opened a snap/Facebook messag/Instagram and didn’t reply she would get upset.

    – she overreacting about everything.

    There’s a lot more too

    Universal
    Universal
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 8:09 am #232605
    Reply To: Long Distance Relationship

    We got along great, had a lot in common, but it was just the things I mentioned above that were the problem. The whole living home didn’t bother me at first (I just recently bought a house), but once I realized she wasn’t trying to do a little bit better — I thought, idk how much longer I can keep visiting bc it looks like she’ll be living home for a while.

    And I tried talking to her about having to know what I was doing while at work, and she didn’t really get it. She was that needy. She wanted me to just tell her I was busy while I was working lol. She was a sweet and good person, I’ll say. But for being in a long distant relationship — it was just too much against me. Too many negatives even though she was fun and kind to hangout with.

    Nonamer
    Nonamer
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 11:17 am #232614
    Reply To: Long Distance Relationship

    I’m not a fan of that