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michelle724ParticipantFebruary 2, 2017 at 4:05 pm #125506
I’m in an LDR. It’s easy to feel insecure. He can’t court me (take me to fun places, be affectionate). It’s all verbal. I hear guys express love with actions – well he can’t do some of those actions from a distance. Can I communicate that I need more actions without making him feel like he’s letting me down? He’s wonderful every 2 months we meet up. Next month he’s flying to help me paint my house. He pays for me to fly to see him and plans fun generous dates when we are on visits. But day to day, it’s hard to feel like it’s a courtship. I want to move to be closer to him. But I am missing some reassurance. How can I get that in this imperfect LDR situation so I have confidence to move closer to him? Can I look at what he does in our 2 month visits and say that’s how it will be? How can I get him to behave that way in our long distance relationship?
richiroParticipantFebruary 2, 2017 at 6:02 pm #125534
well let’s talk about this.. what kinds of actions are you thinking would help in this LDR?
yes.. LDR’s are very tough so couples must get creative to sustain.
couples must accept that there are trade-offs and sacrifices as well
couples must also have reasonably adjusted expectations when entering an LDR.
it’s not for everybody and very very tough.
richiroParticipantFebruary 2, 2017 at 6:05 pm #125536
oh ok.. another comment.
males/females are wired differently. as i always like to say.. the biggest mistake we all make is.. females want or expect males to think like females.. while males want or expect famels to hink like males. DOESN’T HAPPEn. so the best thing we can do to undersatnd is if your’e a female and with a male, read him as a male.. NOT AS A FEMALE. and vice versa.
as a male. what he is doing is exactly all the things a man would do if he truly cares about somebody (doing things so she doesn’t have to). as a female you are thinking OTHER actinos show “reassurance” but from here – i can tell you he’s solidly loyal and in love with you. (guys don’t paint just anybody’s house for the hell of it! only for people they care about and intend to be with permanently).
hopefully that helped a bit more. (if you want him to do other things.. help him and guide/lead him – innately as a male he’ll think of painting houses, fixing cars, etc.)
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