long time friend

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long time friend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    inmy30s
    inmy30s
    Participant
    December 28, 2019 at 7:21 pm #227022
    long time friend

    My friend of 5 year now — i like her.
    When we first met, she liked me, but I had a GF and was unavailable.
    We have always liked each other, but in the past 2 years — she has moved to a different city, starting dating (nothing really serious).

    Now that we are both approaching 30 years old, I personally want to settle down, and I think she would make the perfect partner – she is amazing (I should have dated her 5 years ago)

    We recently hung out. We were somewhat affectionate with eachother. She wanted me to meet her family which I finally did. And i told her that I think we would make a good couple, i think it could be a very successful relationship and I would like to try to pursue it… she looked stunned. Not a definite NO, but not jumping to say YES!
    I asked her if she ever thought about us being together – she said… no. At the end of the night she texted me “I love you. Thank you for coming out”
    …. is she gently turning a friend down? or putting it off to think about it

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 30, 2019 at 10:42 am #227080

    “My friend of 5 year now — i like her.
    “When we first met, she liked me, but I had a GF and was unavailable.”
    “I personally want to settle down, and I think she would make the perfect partner..”
    “I asked her if she ever thought about us being together – she said… no.”

    This is one of the reasons why so many women choose not to have men as ‘friends”.
    Almost every time they think they can relax in a {platonic friendship} they learn the guy wants more!
    Clearly she never looked at YOU as dating/relationship material.
    I wouldn’t read anything into the “I love you” text. Some women say that to their (friends) all the time.
    Find someone with mutual interest!

    Secondly anyone who proclaims they want to settle down/get married and doesn’t already have a mate gives me pause.
    They’re putting the cart before the horse. The special person you are already with should be why you’re thinking about marriage. Otherwise you’re just someone chasing after a marital status in need of a “prop”!

    inmy30s
    inmy30s
    Participant
    December 30, 2019 at 2:48 pm #227085

    Thank you for your reply. I think youre right. Ill drop it.
    I dont agree with the chasing after a prop line
    Thanks again for your perspective