Looking for advice/input from single mothers, but all input welcome.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Looking for advice/input from single mothers, but all input welcome.

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2018 at 10:34 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    Mike2466
    Mike2466
    Participant
    June 23, 2018 at 3:25 pm #177819
    Looking for advice/input from single mothers, but all input welcome.

    Two month ago I started dating a woman with a 6 year old son. Everything was going well until Monday, she texted she was not ready to start a relationship. Much of the reason appears to be protection of her son and introducing a new man into the scene. I understand, but was taken by surprise being everything was going extremely well. A little info on the dating: We both started on the same page, good careers, level headed. Hit it off really well and had good, regular communication. Lived about an hour form each other and typically spent the night at one of our homes once per week. There was good balance between who intiatted communication, making date decisions, sharing the driving because of distance and sharing the cost. At no point did I feel emotional distance from her or concern about being a rebound. We had long discussion and she sounds open to stay in contact, but needs time.
    My question is how I should proceed, if at all? I do care for her very much.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 24, 2018 at 1:09 pm #177827

    You didn’t mention how you met a woman who lives a hour away from you.
    If it was via an online dating site or app there is a good chance her profile remains active and she wants to keep her options open.

    “she texted she was not ready to start a relationship.”
    After two months of dating and spending the night at each other’s house she chose to break the news to you via text.
    I suppose that’s better than being “ghosted”. People (text) people they don’t want to talk to.

    “she sounds open to stay in contact, but {needs time.} She means time away from (you).
    ” Never accept friendship as a “consolation prize”.

    The person doing the dumping is always open to remaining friends to keep from feeling like the “bad guy”.
    The dumped person sees the idea of remaining friends as (hope) for a potential reconciliation.
    Essentially you’ve been “benched” while she frees herself up to date other options. Move on.

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    MasonDavis1979
    MasonDavis1979
    Participant
    June 25, 2018 at 3:40 am #177836

    Yeah that sounds perfect indeed. Have you talk about it in person? I mean, you said she just texted you. Did you try to ask her to talk and clarify things out personally?

    Mike2466
    Mike2466
    Participant
    June 25, 2018 at 10:46 am #177863

    We did talk over the phone for a while. It wasn’t just a text. She stated she felt selfish for not paying attention to her sons needs from the breakup of her ex. Her son basically had a met down after Father’s Day not being able to see who he considered his dad. It’s not easy for kids in these situations either. I believe she is afraid of having a new relationship right now and of course a new would be father figure. After her son was upset I’m sure it reopened some wounds, among wanting to be protective. I lightly touched on details with us to avoid sounding desperate. I did not feel this to be about whether she still likes me. She does have feeling for me but literally want to have “time.” I’m not a needy boyfriend and have dated many people…learned the do’s and I do nots a long time ago. I’m 34. But this is the first person in a long time that I’ve decided to open up to and develop feeling.