Looking for either validation or relief…

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Looking for either validation or relief…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Zerocool
    Zerocool
    Participant
    August 14, 2018 at 2:21 am #181513
    Looking for either validation or relief…

    So, first off… I’m a very logical guy, if it doesn’t makes sense, I ask the questions.
    Now the skinny on the situation. Girlfriend is, like most, on Facebook everyday. The majority of her life is on facebook… except us. In the beginning, didn’t really care, didn’t use Facebook much. Fast forward 9 months, I find out she doesn’t “put her relationships on facebook” okay… everything else she does is on there… why not? Turned out she didn’t want her ex to know we were dating. So, I got heated pretty quick, mind you I don’t yell. Im pretty calm in general, but I was in a very direct mood.
    My logic: if your life is posted on facebook, why isn’t there anything about us?
    Why does it matter if your ex knows or not? (I guess they share friends, and still end up in groups together… told her we could talk about that
    later not as big of a deal).
    If your putting up this big of a fight over people seeing that we are together and happy, is there something

    Zerocool
    Zerocool
    Participant
    August 14, 2018 at 2:22 am #181514

    More at play here?
    And lastly, if shes fighting me this much to make sure he doesn’t find out because she “wants to tell him in person”, is the more at play here?

    Andrelecoz
    Andrelecoz
    Participant
    August 14, 2018 at 8:53 pm #181606

    in my experience i will say this –
    Ask her directly if she’s still seeing him in groups. If she is, then tell her to tell him straight away that she’s seeing you and its over between them for if she doesnt, she’ll be contributing to making you feel unconformable in your relationship with her, which is unhealthy and will lead to an unbalanced relationship where you will feel you’re undervalued and unappreciated.

    If she doesnt see him, then tell her that she still has to tell him as soon as possible, because she has to decide whats more important. Ask if she can do it that day or within the hour. If she cant, then ask her whats stopping her from making the action. Does she still have feelings for him? explore whats going on inside her feelings. Get to the bottom of things without with you still guessing after leaving the conversation.

    BradmC456916
    BradmC456916
    Participant
    August 15, 2018 at 4:57 am #181611

    She shouldnt care. Stop wasting your time and find a girl who is proud to tell the world she loves you.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    August 15, 2018 at 9:14 am #181621

    She knows her ex better than anyone.
    Personally I would not worry about not being mentioned on Facebook as long as everything else is great in the relationship.
    Eventually he will find out she’s dating someone especially if she has personally introduced you to her friends and family.
    If you love her and she makes you happy let it go.
    As one adage goes: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

    The only caveat I would have is if she is still maintaining a “friendship” with her ex whereby they’re often in contact.
    Hiding one’s relationship when dealing with an ex under those circumstances is usually seen as giving them hope of reconciliation. After all if they’re truly “platonic friends” they would hope each other to finds love and happiness.

    Another thing to consider is: Who dumped whom?
    Rarely if ever do two people wake up one morning and {both} want out of a relationship.
    If she dumped him and he’s not dating anyone she may not want to throw her (new relationship) in his face.