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vvmackvvParticipantMay 16, 2015 at 4:56 am #79131
so ive been talking to this girl for couple weeks now, shes a college student about to graduate and work at the same time. we admitted that we like each other, wanted to try if we can working things out even though we’re far from each other. she also mentioned that she has some trust issues with guys because of her past experience and she introduced me to her friends so (idk if thats something or jusr formality and if that has affect on her initiating the conversation) so i had been txting her for a while and i decided to stop for couple days, giver her space ( study, work , maker her miss me and do those fun stuff) just to see if she would initiate the conversation or anything but she aint. so idk we’re just a fling or whatever? also its weird because she would like my ig pics and check out my snapchats but wont txt me . same here with me il check her snaps and ig but i wont txt her.. also, i see her partying all the time so yea.. what should i do? thanks!
chrisinindyParticipantMay 16, 2015 at 4:57 pm #79139
I’m guilty of the same thing — “testing” to see what they would do and hoping they text or call. And if they don’t, then it causes anxiety about if they like me or not. I’m sure it’s pretty common. However, reading your post makes me realize how silly it is.
When you don’t know someone well you tend to make up things in your mind about what they are thinking, or doing. Is she busy studying or working? Talking to another guy? The only way to know is to ask her (and hope she’s being honest). Call her up, tell her what you are thinking and ask her if she shares your interest in dating. Then, you’ll have to take her response at face value. If she says no, then you know the answer. If she says yes, then talk about what you’d like in terms of communication — like “I’d like to be able to talk a few times a day via text and say goodnight”. Or whatever you want. Never underestimate the value of a real conversation instead of texting/snapchat.
to_cirParticipantMay 16, 2015 at 5:03 pm #79140
Yes, I agree with the above advice. You should ask if she wants to start/keep dating you and what do you expect. If you think she is able to talk effectively and is also ready to share her feelings, then you can tell about how you have been feeling for a while and what has been affecting you.
vvmackvvParticipantMay 19, 2015 at 3:37 am #79249
*updated* ( just to give you guys more info this girl is from SF and im from LA)
i txted her again last night, i asked her how she doing and hope everything is well and just wanted to catch up. didnt get a reply, txted her good morning earlier and said good luck on her finals , got a txt 30mins later said thank you everything is good just been really busy and i didnt reply.
its weird cuz i saw her snapchat this weekend, she went out partying friday night, saturday family wedding and sunday bestfriends wedding. just weird for her not have to time to txt me.. idk i thought we started good because we had a good time and saw her again couple weeks after that and stayed for night.. maybe im just a pass time?
atypicalbabeParticipantMay 19, 2015 at 10:13 am #79269
based on her snapchat story she seems to be busy (partying and weddings). for me, i don’t like to try to have a conversation over text unless i can be focused on that. if i was at weddings i would want to focus on that and not texting someone.
nayf82ParticipantMay 19, 2015 at 5:26 pm #79343
I hate texting because you can interpret things so many ways and then they bring so much anxiety. I try and keep them short, use them only when you have something interesting/funny/flirty to say and then try and do most of the talking face to face. Again as hard as it is try and lay off the facebook stalking, people always look more interesting on facebook and to be having more fun than they actually are. Maybe lay off the text for a few days then pluck up the courage to phone her out of the blue, make sure you have something in your head or even written down pointers to talk about though!
petera24ParticipantMay 19, 2015 at 7:54 pm #79361
Well I think you tried to make her miss you by backing off and it ended up not working. You should have never went with that approach in the first place simply because if you want something, in this case, a girl the you like to like to show she is interested in you. You have to be around her enough so that in any case where you are busy she will notice it. In this particular case to me it still looks like a new relationship.
Leaving in Thailand we use texts a lot and it works great. The only thing is you can’t read into what the other person is saying too much. If she said she is busy then she is definitely busy. Busy is subjective, I could be busy watching the 9 seasons of “Friends”.
If you still like her now is not the time to give her space but at the same time you shouldn’t look clingy either. It seems like the trust issues she was talking about is coming out now. So you gotta get her to trust you enough so that her interest level goes up. Don’t over think your relationship
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