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TMM2015ParticipantOctober 20, 2017 at 5:37 am #153482
For 15 years I’ve been in love with a really good friend of mine. She recently hit me up again demanding I go to her bachelorette party as well as her wedding. I go to give my support to her but she ends up telling me she loves me. I think it’s cold feet and try explaining to her everything’s fine you’ve been excited why now. I end up holding her she falls asleep. Fast forward she makes it a point to come see me we end up getting drunk and I hook up with her. She continues to tell me that she doesn’t want to get married. So I offer her a out. She can live in the guest room I’ll cover what ever she thought her dad would lose from calling it off. And all I wanted was for her to see she didn’t need anyone in order to be happy. She ended up getting married but called me right after the ceremony and all through the night. To showing up the next day at my door crying.
My question is: how do I walk away? I’m not a fool I know she made her choice but what do I do now? Is there any truth from
LocaParticipantOctober 26, 2017 at 8:50 pm #154250
Do you want to remain in her life or do you really want to walk away?
If you want to stay but it hurts you, be honest with her about that. It’s understandable that someone would want to walk away from someone they love but can’t be loved back. One, it’s respecting her marriage. Two, she needs her own time to herself, because she obviously isn’t sure what she wants either.
You can choose to offer your shoulder for her to cry on and let her know that you will be waiting, or you can just be honest and explain to her why you can’t be involved. I’m sure you don’t want to just disappear and not let her know that you are walking away or why you did it.
So it’s all up to you how you choose this ending.
What does she want? Have you spoken since she came to your door? She probably needs you more than ever because you are a friend and you give her a sense of relief and probably security. It’s tricky because it can be tempting. Maybe you can work out an agreement.
I wish you luck with this.
TK1265ParticipantFebruary 28, 2018 at 9:01 am #166547
That seems like a really complicated situation. If she went through with getting married despite acknowledging to herself that she didn’t want to, she probably is dealing with a lot. I think that you shouldn’t have to deal with that much drama, and if it’s bringing you too much stress it would be best to move on. You will be able to find someone else without so much stress being inherent in the relationship. It might not be easy to let go but in the long run it will be less suffering.
jjd266ParticipantMarch 1, 2018 at 2:03 pm #166654
Oh my god…. 🙁 clearly this person was not ready for a marriage at all. I don’t know why she proceeded with it if she knew she would be coming to your doorsteps right after the ceremony. I think you should really be honest with her. Tell her that you do not wish to complicate her life and new marriage. And that she has chose to be with that person whom she married. So she should not have any reason to approach you anymore. If she doesn’t have many friends in her life then I guess I would offer her to be a distant friend but no more than that….
KaceyRayParticipantMarch 25, 2018 at 7:46 pm #168348
You’ll just have to take it one step at a time. That’s a tough situation.
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