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cal-oneParticipantNovember 21, 2014 at 2:38 pm #67902
I’m a 31yr old male, my ex and I went through a bad break up about 2 and 1/2 months ago. We talked for the first time 3 days ago, and since then held 2 conversations. In those conversations we argued for a bit then proceeded to have decent conversations. We both have admitted to still have feelings for each other. We are meeting at a coffee shop this afternoon. I’m a little nervous about seeing her again, don’t know what to expect. I don’t want to push her away, argue or anything of that sort. My goal is to eventually make amends. Need some advice on how to go about the meeting today. Help.
laylaParticipantDecember 1, 2014 at 11:52 am #68452
If you intend making amends I assume that means you need to apologise or make up for something that happened between you that caused that split.
I think you need to give time to exploring what those issues are from your own perspective and then work out your mutual needs with respect for each other’s commitments outside the relationship so that you can make a plan for the future. It sounds like you’ve started on that path already.
Just honour your needs and know what it is that you can bring to a future relationship with your ex and be honest above all.
This might mean that you have to re-assess yourself, lifestyle, motivations, attributes etc and adapt your expectations but it might be well worth so you can establish a mutual trust again. Once that is in place, trust your instincts and go forward positively engaging in active listening and being prepared to commit long-term.
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