met online, then met in person, but does he find me attractive!??

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met online, then met in person, but does he find me attractive!??

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 3, 2015 at 11:49 pm #72509

    eve sorry sh*t really hit the fan…
    so i kind of doubted that he was actually ON vacation so i called his office. he was there. he hadnt gone on vacation. after i got insane pissed off and he called me a bunch of times, the final story was that hes been lying to me for 2 weeks. he told me he was sick thats why couldnt visit me a weekend ago but in fact his ex had OD’d and he was taking care of her :// her parents live abroad so she had nobody to take care of her. and then again he LIED to me about his holiday… he never went…he was taking care of her. in fact I was IN HIS CITY for 2 more days after when he was lying hes travelling but he was still there…taking care of her….

    i flipped out naturally. now im basically at the point where i told him get yourself away from that situation or im out. so he’s taken from me until thursday because her parents are coming in on thursday to take her with them. he keeps telling me hes not into her at all and he just didnt know how to say no

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 3, 2015 at 11:51 pm #72510

    im DONE being understanding. one this is clear and he gets back in touch with me after all this nonsense is done. then things are going to have to be different. else im not doing this. im saturated to the brim with patience and understanding and im just done.

    Eve
    Eve
    Participant
    February 4, 2015 at 3:38 am #72511

    OMG that is quite a story…
    I totally agree, this is probably the point when you should stop being understanding. After all: he lied to you. For me, this is something I do not tolerate at all, no matter what. I choose to believe to people as long as I don’t have the reason to doubt them, but once they screw me over, I’m done.
    I also think this whole story is something that one could’ve understand if he was just simply honest, there was absolutely no need to lie about it. And if he lies about this, who knows what else? I think you should get a closure, this guy is not the knight in shiny armour, and he is capable of lying to your face just this easily, then there is not much to expect from him in the long run… I’m so sorry for you, but I really think you deserve better than this.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Eve Eve.
    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 4, 2015 at 6:20 am #72513

    i have to give him another chance….so im waiting till tomorrow…
    if i dont hear from him by friday its over

    and also if i do hear from him tomorrow then things are going to have to be very different. im totally reeling its such an insane situation.

    Eve
    Eve
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 5:22 am #72596

    Any news yet?

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 5:40 am #72597

    thanks for checking in eve…

    yesterday i flipped a little and sent him a voice note basically telling him that im sick of being taken for granted. it makes my blood boil to think i was in his city and he kept lying that he was not in the city whereas in truth he was taking acre of his ex… makes me feel so stupid and so taken advantage of for all my understanding…

    anyway he sent a message that was short, and to my eyes curt, it was just: okay then, i understand what you are going through. tomorow we will talka nd youl have clarity. sorry this has been so hard for you

    to which i replied : just that thats all you have to say speaks a million words, is amazing to me that you have not once said: yes of course i want to do this with you. anyway its o you now, i wont text you again.

    he read it and didnt reply…

    either way, at my time 12 am tonight (thats about 10 hours from now), regardless of wether i hear from him or not, il have made my decision.

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 5:41 am #72598

    the magic feels gone

    Eve
    Eve
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 6:09 am #72603

    I’m really sorry it ended like this, but I think you made the right decision. Please do not feel stupid and taken advantage of, just think about it like you very nice, and he was a jerk. That’s all. And good for you to find it out so early, before getting more involved. I’m sure eventually you’ll find the guy, who is not this ignorant liar, and hopefully who can keep up with your speed 😉

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 6:38 am #72604

    its a little ridiculous but im still hoping he’l call and apologize and everything will be alright…
    either way il keep you posted if / when i hear from him….

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 8:36 am #72607

    its over…
    he said his crazy ex and her family left but because it was so hectic with her he wants us to slow down he feels like he cant jump into anything and he wants us to take it easy be less intense and just be friends etc etc..
    i was like buddy the intensity boat sailed when you made things between us crazy with lies and deception. and you know what, we live in different cities, i had done EVERYTHING i could to keep things afloat… but im done now.
    we cant fight who we are, and i want passion and love and someone who wants to see me and will make spontaneous decisions to do that, and put me first and be honest with me. clearly this isnt the guy. so yet again, im going to move on.

    Eve
    Eve
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 2:29 pm #72663

    I’m so sorry to hear all of this 🙁 But I really think it is better that all of these things happened so early, so that you didn’t get too much involved. I know it looked promising in the beginning, and you were wishing that this would turn into an actual relationship eventually, but apparently how you pictured this guy, and who he actually is are two very different people. Taking things slow is already difficult enough, putting up with all this lying and other crap is just way too much. I really hope you’ll find a guy, who will be as crazy about you as he should be.
    My guy kind of disappeared again, it has been 4 days since his last message. This isn’t the longest time so far, but I’m also getting fed up with how we’re not moving anywhere. I really think it is about to time that we talked, but it would be better to do personally, and I have no idea how long I should wait for that… I’m a patient person, but eventually I’ll reach my limit too…

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 2:45 pm #72666

    yeh i think i just realized that when there is a gross imbalance with how much waiting you are doing and how much of the relationship is on the other person’s terms… then thats wrong, theres something amiss.
    thanks yeh im going to get over it, most important thing is despite all the ‘nice’ things he was saying about how he wants to take it slow and how he thinks im amazing and hes really into me BUT he thinks we should take the friend route, fact is, clearly he doesnt think me, or this is amazing ENOUGH. and im not okay with that, i know what i want and i want more.
    and he will regret fucking this up.
    regardless, such is life. im just glad i was able to end it with grace rather than agreeing to his stupid friendship plans and just feel like even more of an idiot than i already do.

    i think you need to take a call on how much you are willing to take too, and at which point does it stop being worth it.

    thekillermachine
    thekillermachine
    Participant
    February 6, 2015 at 5:57 am #72709

    Its different for guys than girls

    capturedspirit
    capturedspirit
    Participant
    February 6, 2015 at 7:00 am #72715

    well, noone also can be sure about if someone finds you attractive even in real life, when you see someone by your onw eyes. 🙂
    so what can we possibly say about online meeting? i’m afraid, you have to know a man first, just to understand if you can trust him, and then you choose how to act in reply.
    also i’m sure that we have to pay more attention on actions than on words. words are empty so often. 🙁

    nea
    nea
    Participant
    February 6, 2015 at 7:36 am #72720

    hey thank you guys…

    but anyway its over now. he lied to me, then acted like a jerk so.

    live and learn

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