Mixed Signals

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Mixed Signals

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 8:29 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Luke626
    Luke626
    Participant
    March 29, 2020 at 11:10 pm #232277
    Mixed Signals

    I have recently been talking to a girl I met on Tinder. We hit it off immediately. I ask her out to an arcade bar, followed by out to eat at a restaurant and finally Dave & Busters over the span of 3 weeks. 1st date goes great, 2nd goes very good and third date was fantastic (her words too). Chemistry was great, ended physically each time but no sex yet. After the 3rd, I am 100% convinced shes very into me.

    Fourth date comes around and we go to have sex after having a good but not great evening. I can’t get it up and it was sort of awkward for a while but we cuddled and it seemed fine. She was so chill about it but I kind of freaked out a bit because I was expecting the worst. Not terribly, but I apologized profusely right after and she had to drive me back so there was some awkward silence and I seemed kind of flustered. Afterwards she still talks frequently to me but less flirty, she updated her Tinder profile and the energy is definitely not where it was post date 3. Friendzoned?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 30, 2020 at 4:44 pm #232338

    “..we go to have sex after having a good but not great evening. I can’t get it up…”
    “..she had to drive me back so there was some awkward silence and I seemed kind of flustered.”
    “.. she updated her Tinder profile and the energy is definitely not where it was…”

    Clearly after what happened she has to be wondering if you’re even sexually compatible.
    Updating her Tinder profile simply means she’s keeping her options open as should you.
    After all you are not in an “exclusive relationship” and you both have {active dating profiles} on Tinder.

    I suspect she’ll probably give you one more shot before completely writing you off romantically.
    You may want to pop a blue pill an hour in advance or brush up on your “tongue spanking skills”.
    Sometimes orally/manually satisfying a woman first, takes some pressure off and may cause a man to become aroused.
    Find some kind of way to please her. Sexually frustrated women tend to move on fairly quickly.

    Best wishes!

    Luke626
    Luke626
    Participant
    March 30, 2020 at 6:16 pm #232342

    Thank you for replying. Although it was a rather emasculating experience, there were definitely some positives. There was a good amount of foreplay, the communication during the deed was great and we were able to laugh off any gaffes or bits of awkwardness. There seems to be potential there.

    Would you say communication is the next step? If we had an open talk about it, I feel like that would both clear up the awkwardness of the last time while also helping the next time go more smoothly. Thank for the last piece of advice, that is definitely something I will use to try to regain her confidence. Not being able to see each other for some time with self quarantine is definitely making it difficult as well but I feel like this is a chat we must have sooner rather than later, right?

    Thank you!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 31, 2020 at 5:02 pm #232408

    If you already talked and laughed during the ordeal let it fade away.
    Stop beating yourself up about it. Every guy at some point experiences the same thing.

    In the meantime NEVER forget she still has an ACTIVE dating profile on Tinder!

    In other words don’t behave as if you’re in an “exclusive relationship” that doesn’t yet exist!
    You need to keep your options open just as she is doing. {Engage with other women.}

    If you were seeking a job you wouldn’t stop sending out your resume just because you had a great interview with one company! Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and candidate are within their rights to “interview” with others. And if a second opportunity happens (be ready). That’s all you can do for now.

    Sorry about the “tough love” earlier. I believe in telling people the truth based upon life experience.
    You may want to read during this quarantine time: Online Dating Avoid The Catfish! How To Date Online Successfully

    Best wishes!

    Quezzy
    Quezzy
    Participant
    April 1, 2020 at 12:41 pm #232467

    Amazing content it’s add more value definitely try them out.

    hotfun
    hotfun
    Participant
    April 1, 2020 at 1:45 pm #232478

    good

    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    April 1, 2020 at 7:03 pm #232487

    This has happened to me before a few times, but once I’m comfortable with a girl I never have a problem. It’s probably performance anxiety, and you gotta understand that to get past it you have to relax, and thinking “this is my last/only shot” is going to make it harder (or not, lol). Mostly it’s a killer of one-night stands. For relationship-oriented encounters, you just need to explain it to her that it’s a matter of you being nervous because you really like her, and being nervous kills boners, and once you can relax, it’ll be okay. Maybe that night, maybe not, but the key is that you don’t think it’s your only shot and get nervous. If she understands, she’ll likely be more patient with you, and less insulted. And if she’s not, who wants to deal with somebody like that anyway? In the meantime pleasure her in other ways. One time I got past it by taking my mind somewhere else, to something that reliably turns me on, while rubbing against her, just long enough to get going.