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tc55548ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 2:19 pm #71802
I’m new to dating and need some advice on the best way to approach this.
A few weeks a ago I started talking to this girl I met on an online dating site. I ended up asking her out for coffee. A few days later we meet for coffee and get to know each other. To me everything seemed to go really well. She is smart, driven, and I thought we shared some chemistry in terms of our personality and shared interests. We talked for about an hour and change and then parted ways. I did not set up a second date at the end of the first date and we did not kiss but hugged. About an hour after I got home I get a text from her saying she had a good time and thanked me for the coffee. I then asked her if she would like to do something with me next weekend and she agreed. I told her I’d call her in the week to work out the logistics of the date. I call her around mid week and setup a lunch date for the following weekend.
We meet for lunch yesterday in the afternoon. The restaurant is kinda busy so we talk for a little while we wait. I hug her when we greet and everything seems cool. When we sit down we start talking about all kinds of different things such as work, school, social life, etc. I was able to keep the conversation flowing nicely I thought and she was warm, receptive, and she was smiling as well. After lunch, we go walk around the mall for about a half hour because she had plans later that afternoon. We casually walk through different stores talking and just getting to know each other. When we get back to our cars, I hug her goodbye and tell her I had a good time. She thanks me for lunch and says “I’ll talk to you later”. I did not get any texts from her later that day but I saw something funny that I took a video of and sent it to her as a text message. She responded and laughed and made a few comments but that’s the last time we talked since the 2nd date.
With all that, I’m trying to figure out the best thing to do. General advice seems to suggest the following things.
1. Call dont text when setting up dates
2. Wait some time after date 2 before setting up date 3.
I like this girl and I want to see her again and I’m fairly confident she likes me. She might be seeing other guys for all I know but I don’t care. I believe that the call / text situation depends on the girl. I think in my shoes, I’d be comfortable seeing if she is interested in doing something in the future through text message, if she says yes, I’d call her to arrange something. My reason for this is the text invitation gives her a moment to think without putting her on the spot to make a decision if I just call her. Or, I could just text her and say, “When’s a good time to call?” and just ask her to date 3 on the spot over the phone. Date 3 would be where I’m more forward and show more physical affection to her and look for any opportunity to throw in a kiss. As far as waiting some time to ask for the next date, I personally would rather ask sooner then later so I don’t let the buildup bother me. I know I should be dating other people so to not put all my eggs in one basked but I have a busy life and I really don’t like dating honestly. I need advice so I can put my nerves at ease, anything helps.
sigrichParticipantJanuary 26, 2015 at 6:53 pm #71893
Was she flirting with you? Were you flirting with her? If you were, then I see no problems with calling and being forward. However, do not go overboard! That will come off as needy and desperate in my opinion. Tell her you’re interested in getting to know her and would like to take her out for a picnic or something. It has to be something fun with no pressure. Dinner on the first few dates is to much pressure in my opinion. Do something that’s fun, where you get to know each other naturally and not forced. Don’t worry about when to call or text. Don’t over do it. Call to make dates only for now . Do not ask someone out over text this early. If you text her and she does not reply within a day or two then move on. Also, during this period focus on getting to know others. If you focus on only her, it will show. I’ve been there. Took me years to learn that. Don’t play games be genuine and you’ll do fine. Even if you don’t have the outcome you want. Good luck!
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