My Ex wants me back. I need a new perspective.

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My Ex wants me back. I need a new perspective.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 1:18 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    ExStellaX
    ExStellaX
    Participant
    November 17, 2018 at 9:54 am #189602
    My Ex wants me back. I need a new perspective.

    Hi, me and my ex had only broken up for 2 weeks. He was the one who broke up with me first. I forgot some stuff at his place and I was asked to come and collect it. At first when we talked we just asked casual questions like hey how are you doing then all that stuff. He then said that the only reason why he didn’t take me back because I ended our last conversation really badly. I had accepted the fact that we will not get back together and I told him I was ok with it. He then started telling me how he missed me and how he felt lonely without me and it has been really hard for him. He asked if I could take him back if we could start again however I don’t think and feel that is a good idea. We broke up because I couldn’t open up my feelings to him and he got really angry at me and started calling me names. We fought a lot, almost every day for the last few months when we were still together. I still love him but i realised we are not compatible or suitable. I dont know what to do…

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm #189610

    “..me and my ex had only broken up for 2 weeks.”
    “He was the one who broke up with me ,,”
    “We broke up because I couldn’t open up my feelings to him and he got really angry at me and started calling me names.”
    “We fought a lot almost every day for the last few months…”

    So what has changed about you or him???
    Two weeks is a very short time to resolve any personal issues.
    At this point your getting back together would be like going to see the same movie twice and expecting a different ending!

    Unless one or both of you have made some wholesale changes it would be a waste of time to get back together.
    Clearly he was the “right guy” for you. No one should have to force them self open up their feelings to anyone.
    I read somewhere: “Love is like a fart, if you have to force it; it’s probably sh*t!”

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    Lastly if someone dumps you let them live with the regret of making that mistake.
    Don’t be a yo-yo on his finger rolling back to him.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 17, 2018 at 5:10 pm #189612

    I meant to say: Clearly he was NOT the right guy for you!
    If he was “the one” for you opening up to him would not have been a problem.
    And if he thought you were (the one for him) he never would have started calling you names!
    That’s not how mature people express their love.

    Healthy relationships are not filled with so much drama.
    Suffering is optional. Move on and cut him completely out of your life for now.
    Unfriend him on social media, block emails and phone numbers.
    Avoid places you know he frequents. The no contact rules is effective because it works.
    Maybe in a year you can be platonic friends.

    Don’t accept friendship as a some “consolation prize”.
    Your ex is the last person who can help you get over him.

    Take the time to grieve with friends and family. Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself .
    Get back into hobbies and interests you may have neglected.
    And when you’re ready get back into the single life meeting and getting to know new people.

    Every ending is a new beginning!
    Best wishes!

    BooksSleepGuy7
    BooksSleepGuy7
    Participant
    November 19, 2018 at 3:07 am #189636

    Move On

    CatsCurious
    CatsCurious
    Participant
    November 19, 2018 at 6:28 am #189646

    I don’t think you should take him back. It’s a hard choice to make, but you should honor that part of you that feels that it wouldn’t be right. He seems like a very emotional and headstrong person – and I don’t think you would be happy with him… it feels like this would happen again? Corny but obligatory: follow your heart 🙂

    pakster123
    pakster123
    Participant
    November 19, 2018 at 8:25 am #189654

    Imma be real. HE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU. You don’t open up so HE CALLS YOU NAMES?!? Like wtf.
    It may be just names now, but if you go back to him it will get worse. He will start blaming you for things. It already sounds like he’s blaming you. He’s the one who broke it off and he said he broke it off BECAUSE YOU ended the conversation badly.
    Do you notice his language? Also notice that right after you said you were ok with not being with him and then he shamelessly says he missed you and was lonely. He is trying to lure you back in after blaming you for the relationship ending. I have a feeling this guy is a narcissist. It takes one who has been hurt by one to recognize one.