My guy runs so hot and cold! It’s driving me nuts! Help!

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My guy runs so hot and cold! It’s driving me nuts! Help!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2019 at 11:38 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    polarice
    polarice
    Participant
    March 1, 2019 at 11:13 am #195893
    My guy runs so hot and cold! It’s driving me nuts! Help!

    I’ve known him 10 years. Often on through the years we have played around the idea of a relationship but either one of us feelings were reciprocated at the same time. A few months ago I told him I wanted to be with him. He was kind of already dating somebody so we remain friends. However He didn’t get to see her very often her so we were FWB. During that time he had mentioned that he wanted to be with me. But he would quickly retract his statement day or two after he said it and said we’re better off just being friends. A couple months ago we had a disagreement he made me leave his house at 6 AM On a Sunday. He told me he had to go feed his parents cat or something. I called BS & told him not to call me again. A month went by and he started calling again. He explained everything and said he want to be w me. I told him I am willing to try but after all this he needs to take it slow w me. He didn’t like that saying w the last girl they took it slow and it didn’t work. So now he is back to not being interested. What should I do? I am not being unreasonable he wants me to forget everything and dive right in. Tell me I am not being unreasonable? He says I am slapping rules on a new relationship and that’s dumb. I disagree. I have every right. How can I get him to see the light? He is so stubborn! Help!

    • This topic was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by polarice polarice. Reason: I wasn’t done
    StrikeEagle15
    StrikeEagle15
    Participant
    March 1, 2019 at 8:46 pm #195937

    I think he is playing the field. Probably is interested in you, but unfortunately not enough to single you out at this point. I would continue talking to him, but I would also keep looking.

    sparky404
    sparky404
    Participant
    March 4, 2019 at 12:17 am #195952

    I agree completely with the comment above. I think that hes definitely interested in you, but he doesn’t want to go all in with you yet. If he was solely interested in you, he wouldn’t be playing these games.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 4, 2019 at 4:44 pm #195969

    It really shouldn’t be this hard to be in a (new) relationship!
    I recently read a quote: “Love is a like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit!”

    The “infatuation phase” is when both people bend over backwards to impress and please each other.
    Conversations and laughter flow easily, cards and token gifts are given “just because” and sex is off the charts!

    This relationship sounds like it arrived “dead on arrival”.
    There’s no romance, sexual chemistry, or excitement for being a couple.
    Instead you’re having “power struggles” kicking each other out of homes, complaining about stubbornness and so on.

    Truthfully you sound like a couple contemplating a divorce or breakup.
    Neither one of you sounds like you’re “in love” with the other and you sure aren’t behaving as if you are.
    The irony is you’ve spent so much time {romanticizing the obstacle} of not being able to be together.
    Now you can have each other and yet you’re not celebrating.
    Maybe you loved the (dream) of being a couple.

    SignMeUpJacob
    SignMeUpJacob
    Participant
    March 8, 2019 at 2:47 pm #196258

    I would call him up on it and see what he says!

    dreamGirlCA
    dreamGirlCA
    Participant
    March 9, 2019 at 9:25 am #196288

    I have been talking to a similar guy these days and it’s driving me nuts. I too am not sure why he behaves the way he does and is not really clear about things. He also ghosts for some days and will then come back saying he has feeling for me and wants to date me.