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missmarymackParticipantAugust 8, 2017 at 12:51 am #144560
I was never popular among the boys in high school, so I never dated, or had a first kiss, or anything of the sort. My problem started about a year ago when i met “Carl” long story short, Carl led me on for 7 months, we didnt really have deep conversations, he never communicated with me really, however he gave me butterflies & i loved the lusty look in his eyes when he looked at me. I thought i was falling in love with him, I gave him my virginity, he then ghosted me for 2months & said we should just be friends. In the 2months Carl was ghosting I kinda started to move on. I met “Jack” & we hit it off immediatly. its no secret that he adores me. we have so much in common, &i do find him attractive. but he doesnt give me butterflies in my stomach like carl used to. this bothers me for some reason. I know that i love being with jack,&i love being with him. but the no butterfly thing still bothers me, like what if im not over carl & am accidentaly leading Jack on? am i just being paranoid?
missmarymackParticipantAugust 8, 2017 at 12:55 am #144561
I should add that Jack and I have been official for three months now, and I havent had that butterfly feeling once. I know Carl is no good for me, but i saw him the other day, and i got that feeling in my stomach. its weird to me because I havent even though about Carl in 2.5 months! I don’t understand why someone as cute and perfect for me as Jack, doesnt give me butterflies, but someone who I KNOW is no good for me does.
LyonsKing16ParticipantAugust 8, 2017 at 8:56 am #144565
The butterflies will come. If Jack is right for you then keep trying. You will always have a connection to Carl because he was your first for many things in your love life. However, like you said Carl is no good for you so just focus on Jack. Once you do that you’ll be fine.
richiroParticipantAugust 8, 2017 at 11:46 am #144610
butterflies are over-rated. Look at what it got you with Carl — is that what you want over and over? I dind’ think so.
What you will learn as time goes on is – you realize that the game is not about getting tingly. The game is about finding a quality person that will enhance your life and be there when yo most need it.
Believe me.. in the end.. what’s going to be more important is not that Carl gave you the 3 most exciting unreal dates you’ve ever had to wine and dine you. No. It’s going to be the Jacks of the world when you have a 5 yr battle with cancer, hes’ there by your side making you smile and having no hesitation in helping you, inspiring you, and taking care of you when you can’t take care of yourself. I can guarantee Carl won’t be that guy. Hell, he led you on and ghosted you when you’re young, healthy, and sexy! What’s he gonig to do when you’re sick?
So lose the “tingles”. A smile and touch that warms you throughout is far better.
organsParticipantAugust 16, 2017 at 6:38 pm #145821
This is my first post.
I have to agree with richiro here. How you feel about someone at a glance versus after dating for a matter of weeks can be two completely different feelings.
Is there anything about Jack you don’t like?
pineapplemalibuParticipantAugust 20, 2017 at 9:51 pm #146210
If its any consolation, I once dated a guy who didn’t give me butterflies until we’d been together for a couple of months.
Agree with LyonsKing16 above, “You will always have a connection to Carl because he was your first for many things in your love life.”
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