My next move

DATING ADVICE FORUM

My next move

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 21, 2015 at 4:43 pm #83103
    Reply To: My next move

    Thanks BenEaster for reply. I got your point, its like horse-pill for me. I can consider this. Just that, I have put so much of my resources in this girl in terms of time, emotions, and money, just give up seems like war lost without fight to me. You may understand me, if you have gone though the similar one. Thanks for wishes, I need them for sure.

    morterman
    morterman
    Participant
    July 21, 2015 at 11:36 pm #83108
    Reply To: My next move

    Give it time

    rdochuff
    rdochuff
    Participant
    July 22, 2015 at 8:33 am #83112
    Reply To: My next move

    Get some

    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 12:59 am #83407
    Reply To: My next move

    Hey All,
    thanks for replies. I was wondering, would it be okay, if I send her a card or flowers. this may soothe her any indecisive feelings. Will this annoy her more and push away form me or this could have any positive impact on her and lean her towards talking with me.

    jadefox
    jadefox
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 10:50 am #83416

    The bad thing you did was you took advantage when she was tipsy/drunk. I’m a woman and I don’t like this kind of behavior. I think she knew that you fngered her that time when she was too drunk but didn’t tell you exactly the truth so that, you will not get embarrass.. Also, your approach to her when you said that you should take your relationship to the next level is a big disappointment to women or bad timing. You can ask her if you are actually comfortable with each other already, read her body language if she really likes you as well. 6 weeks of no communication means the end. That comes from a woman so believe me.. I don’t want to disappoint you but I know how she feels. So, let her go.. 🙂 Hope it helps!

    Sktlez
    Sktlez
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 3:15 pm #83430

    Sounds like you need to move on IMO–beating a dead horse. If you haven’t had any communication besides little texts every now and then sounds like you’re being too needy and she is picking up on it and trying to distance herself from you. Let her go and see if she comes back.

    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 9:29 pm #83434

    Hello jadefox,
    I think we are missing the point here. The point of fingering is being blown out of proportion here. The week before the meeting, we talked on phone about physical interaction. From our discussion, we both were fine with this. We even discussed which positions are our favorite and which one we should try. Before going to her friend’s place, I told her I will be nice to her and wouldn’t take advantage of her. Then she replied, she would take advantage of me. And when she invited me in her room, I thought she’s ready for this. If she remembered the event, then why would she apologized to me and even hang out with me on the next day. Next day, she told me, this passing out on a date, is not good for adult dating and embarrassed for this. Another thing is, she mentioned she needs to focus on other things in her life- she’s on disability leave and planning to get back to her regular work.

    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 9:41 pm #83435

    Hello jadefox, contd.-
    I do understand that my question of moving relationship to next level was badly timed. But one month ago, I asked her what she wants to do with this relationship, then she said she would like to ahead with this. To follow up that, I asked this question.
    Thanks for the tip about body language and comfort level, I’ll keep this in mind.
    You mentioned about 6 weeks of no communication. She told me in her past relationship, she used to meet her partner in person, after gaps of 2 months or even 5 months. If this is, history of the person, then I think relationship can be rejuvenated after 6 weeks, with proper circumstances.

    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 29, 2015 at 10:00 pm #83436

    Hello Sktlez,
    I do get your point. No communication seems far harsh from one perspective, and it does indicate she’s trying to distant herself from me. But I also think that she might be too embarrassed to talk with me due to the passed out event. Also, as she mentioned, she needs to be focused on her career related things in her life. Waiting to see if she comes back seems wise choice to me and that what I’m doing.

    asktree
    asktree
    Participant
    July 31, 2015 at 1:28 am #83450

    Hi All,
    ONE RAY OF HOPE- a friend of mine passed away suddenly in an accident. In surge of sadness, I texted her and shared the bad news. She texted back saying, she feel sorry for me and pray for me and will call me tomorrow. So if she calls and we happened to talk, then I can talk about my grief and share memory of that person. But along with that, shall I include points about our relationship which are-
    a. If she wants to continue dating or be a friend , I’m ready for this option.
    b. If she wants I’m ready to put sex off the table, till she wants.
    Shall I explicitly tell these points, or its assumed to be so, and that’s why we will be talking.
    I just don’t want her to think her, that I’m finding every reason to talk to her. I feel sad that, I’m using my friend’s loss to talk to her, but she’s the only person I’m comfortable to share such a news.
    Let me know your valuable input.

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