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RoxyParticipantJanuary 21, 2015 at 7:16 am #71348
So I’ve been dating this guy for just over a month and it’s going really well. His best friend has even told my best friend that he’s been talking about me a lot and said thing are going really good.
I was the one that gave him my number and said he should take me on a date sometime. He told me afterwards that he loves that I’m not afraid to take the lead. He has been hinting at making things official and leaving me know thats the direction he wants things going. My question is would a guy be freaked if it was the girl asking to make things official? Do you feel it’s more your role as the man to ask this?
I think he’s working up the nerve to ask me but he seems to be a bit shy. Do you think I could maybe say something that would put him at ease so he can ask me or should I just go ahead and ask him?
ConverseParticipantJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:49 pm #71360
In my opinion, I think you should ask him. I’m 21 but I’ve missed out on SO many opportunities with girls because of my shyness when it comes to asking questions like this. If any of the girls had taken the lead, I’m sure I’d have been much happier with my relationship history. It took a girl to finally make a move for me to have a relationship (which didn’t last, because she’d been waiting for me to say something for years). Your situation is different, because you’re already seeing each other, but from my point of view you should say something and set him up to reciprocate. If you want to tell him how you feel then I see no problem with that because there are two people involved and if he feels the same way then you’ll just make it official sooner. At this point in a relationship, it’s just about getting over that hill and once you have, you can really start to enjoy yourself. So yeh, do it. Don’t waste any time: make it official.
JohnnyToledoParticipantJanuary 22, 2015 at 4:46 pm #71624
I’m gonna go ahead and disagree with the previous poster. Although I do like a girl that is forward and honest, if a girl makes things too easy for me I lost interest. I hate the facts, but it’s the truth. I would hint at a relationship, maybe say things like, “If I was your girlfriend, we could do (insert activity)”. Do not directly ask him though. Let him know you care for him, that in itself will let him know you wont reject him if he asks. The only thing stopping him is maybe he is afraid to be rejected. But, if you console him to the point where he knows he wont be rejected, theres no reason he shouldnt ask 🙂
AssociateParticipantJanuary 24, 2015 at 1:12 pm #71785
Agree with Johnny Toledo. Some hint would work, instead of telling what you feel directly.
nanaki626ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 12:52 am #71792
Personally, I would be thrilled if a girl made the first move, and if he truly likes that you take the lead on some things I would have to guess its not something he would be opposed to either. Could be that be wants things to move forward but can’t work up the nerve to do be up front about it (lord knows I’ve been there, several times…)
I would think the best course of action would be to drop some not so subtle hints, let him know you want to move things forward, and if he doesn’t pick up on the hints, then just be upfront and tell him.
tc55548ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 2:17 pm #71801
As a guy I can say this really depends on the guy. I personally would like it if a girl made some kind of move like this because it’s a 100 percent tell tale sign that we’ve come to a threshold and need to make a decision. It’s harder sometimes if girls don’t show any kind of indicator because then the guy has to take a calculated risk of making the forward move and getting rejected or accepted. But this is dating and rejection is a part of dating. But I think the approach you take matters too. Subtle clues might key in this guy to knowing he needs to make a move to make it official instead of being too direct about it.
yak_it2001ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 6:44 pm #71810
As nice as it seems to have a girl make the moves I think it could backfire too. It depends on the guy. I’ve had girls I liked that came onto me too strong and it pushed me away. I think if you just try to spend time with him, talk with his friends about how you like him, etc. he will come around. Just make it obvious you like him without flat out telling him directly. If he goes after you great, but if not you know it wasn’t meant to be.
Tapatio64ParticipantJanuary 27, 2015 at 1:30 pm #71947
These days its more normal than not for women to take the lead. I don’t see that being a problem at all and if the guy you are with is secure with himself he wont be turned off. It just shows that you are confident within yourself and he may like that. Good Luck!!
gioannaParticipantJanuary 27, 2015 at 2:07 pm #71948
I feel you..is so annoying when you want to do something and you dont know if it is the right think to do… I think that if you ask him to make things official he might be in shock..not because thats a man thing to ask but because he might feel that get in a relationship might have a lot of respossibilities…i would advice you to wait…if he really like you he will get himself the feeling of being with you the most he spends time with you…if not then you alredy know the answer
JamesAlexParticipantJanuary 28, 2015 at 9:44 pm #72178
Let him do his thing and get the confidence to do it when he is comfortable. I have been in situations where I felt a little “rushed”, and I would have preferred to give things a little more time. If more time goes by and you are still not sure of his intentions, then by all means, feel free to simply ask. whats the worst that can happen? hope that helps a little.
RoxyParticipantJanuary 29, 2015 at 5:56 am #72185
Interesting got some very mixed thoughts on this which makes me think it really does depend on the guy. I haven’t seen him in the last week due to being sick but we are going for dinner Saturday night so ill see how that goes. He is a lot less shy around me now so I may just see how it goes and see if he asks. Don’t want him feeling rushed I am in no rush myself but just wanted to know if the girl asking would be a welcomed thing. I’ll just have to read the signs because he has been dropping hints just a matter of whether he’ll ask me or would he be more comfortable if I brought the topic up first. Thanks for all the advice, I think I’ll wait and see and judge by the next couple of dates.
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