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serendipityvgParticipantJanuary 26, 2016 at 2:01 pm #92168
I have been dating this guy for almost 5 months and he is very attentive, we are in touch everyday. He lives 2:30 hours away, but we see each other almost every weekend, except when he has drills (he is in the military), or travels to see family. He is sweet, pays for everything, I have met his colleagues (family is from another state) likes PDA’s! etc. All is super, only thing that bothers me is that he likes to make solo plans. He would tell me he wants to go to a party with one of his girlfriends, or to some festival, he would end up staying with me anyway, but I don’t get why I can’t go. He says he just likes to have his space, or have activities were he can unwind. His bday is coming soon and he wants to travel with a guy friend to the Caribbean, or spend the day by himself hiking, or in nature, or something like that. Again, I am not included. I don’t get it. His behavior makes me wonder if he really wants a relationship, or a friend with benefits. Help!
selenagaldamezParticipantFebruary 4, 2016 at 9:00 am #92852
Wanting to spend some time alone is t necessarily a bad thing and doesn’t imply that anything is going on-it’s good that he’s being honest with you that he wants some time on his own. The only thing that concerns me is that he wants to hangout with female friends alone.
IdontevenknowParticipantFebruary 4, 2016 at 9:23 am #92864
Personally, I need at least 1 or 2 hours every day where everybody just shuts up and leaves me alone to do whatever I want. Some people need that more than others and some people don’t need it all and thrive on frequent human interaction. However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable that he wants to spend time with his girlfriends without you there, I’d say just talk to him about it. I know it would make me uncomfortable if I had a girlfriend and she wanted to hangout with her guyfriends on a regular basis without me there. I think if you just tell him that you want to be included in his life more, there’s nothing wrong with that.
ScroodriverParticipantFebruary 9, 2016 at 4:18 am #93205
I can understand if he doesn’t want to spend all day outside of work with you. I’d only be concerned if his alone time ends up getting longer and longer. But wanting alone time is completely normal.
HarryParticipantFebruary 10, 2016 at 11:14 am #93269
I agree Scroodriver. Normally guys like having alone time and half the time it maybe just doing nothing or doing something random. Maybe you could try “Good Reminder Text Technique”. Send him something like… “Hey, just had a chocolate milkshake from (name). Reminded me of our (x date), where you took me and we had such a great time together! Maybe we could do it again for your birthday :p”
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