need advice  Not so sure anymore

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need advice Not so sure anymore

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    BritWay
    BritWay
    Participant
    October 31, 2018 at 6:38 am #188226
    need advice Not so sure anymore

    I am in my 50’s and I have been in a relationship for 3 years with a great man also in his 50’s. I told me he has been separated for 2 years when I met him and at that time I had split up with my long-term partner of 20 years. Recently I saw him taking photos of himself and was waiting for a photo to arrive on my phone later in the day but nothing arrived. On the weekend I asked him who he was sending the photos to and he told me that it was for himself. I pushed a bit more as I didn’t understand it. He then told me that he is having trouble getting aroused. We have not been intimate for 6 weeks. When I go to give hi. A kiss on the lips he moves his face so I miss his cheek. The other issue that has been revealed is that he is still living with his separated wife and he says he is leaving the house in the new year to move in with me. He said he stays in separate bedroom. I am not sure what to do now. I love hi m but now I don’t trust him. I ‘d be grateful for any advice

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 31, 2018 at 9:06 am #188245

    “I have been in a relationship for 3 years with a great man…”
    “The other issue that has been revealed is that he is still living with his separated wife…”

    Very few people would want to get involved with someone who is still living with their spouse separated or not.
    Odds are if it were the other way around and (you were living an ex-lover) this man would not waited 3 years for you to move.

    If he’s having arousal issues he can take Viagra or some other erectile dysfunction drug.
    Taking and viewing pictures of oneself does not normally arouse someone. One would have to be {extremely} narcissistic!
    Even with having erectile issues there is no excuse for (dodging the kiss of a loved one) unless you don’t care about them.

    “I love him but now I don’t trust him.’
    Never ignore “red flags”. If something doesn’t feel right to you it’s probably not right for you. Move on!
    From what you said it sounds like he’s either seeing another woman or preparing to set up an online dating profile.

    BritWay
    BritWay
    Participant
    October 31, 2018 at 4:45 pm #188364

    Thank you for the advice. I have lost trust in this man and I’m disappointed with myself for hanging in there for so long. Stupid mistake on my part. He has just messaged me to say he is sorry and he wants t be friends.

    BritWay
    BritWay
    Participant
    November 1, 2018 at 8:28 am #188366

    He says that the impotence is fact. I have told him it’s over.

    BritWay
    BritWay
    Participant
    November 1, 2018 at 8:28 am #188368

    I’ve told him it’s over and he said he is devastated

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 2, 2018 at 2:49 am #188586

    “When I go to give him a kiss on the lips {he moves his face} so I miss his cheek.” (He rejected you first)

    Always remember you broke up with him because you were unhappy and deserve better!
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

    Don’t allow yourself to get sucked back into a situation because you feel sorry for him especially when nothing has changed. Eventually he will get over being devastated.

    Best wishes!

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    November 2, 2018 at 1:15 pm #188639

    never get involved with somebody not completely single (aka not divorced, separated, etc.) they typically have a “story” and that is more often than not a complete lie. NEVER EVER be “the other person” as you get short-changed and hurt in the end.

    its very simple. NEVER be with somebody who ISN’T completely single.

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 11:44 am #190508

    Agreed!

    Mtaew18
    Mtaew18
    Participant
    December 10, 2018 at 3:05 am #190763

    Never get in a situation where he cannot separate from the wife. That’s a lead to heartbreak.