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December2018ParticipantDecember 20, 2018 at 3:28 pm #191512
My ex and I broke up approx 15 days ago with her packing up only half of her clothes, shoes, toiletries etc. and moved in with her daughter and son-in-law. The place they live would not possibly hold any more of my ex items. Ex says she is done and has no plans to move back in with me, but she has left behind tons and I do mean tons of personal items, furniture, half her clothes/shoes, pictures on and on. ( would be a Uhaul truck full)
While I hold out a hope that we would work through this and reunite, we talk only few times a week, but I am reading to do the no contact period.
SO my question is…before starting the no contact, I think she should remove all her belongings from my home, otherwise I wonder if that is to prevent me from moving on or if she intends to come back or what..so do I tell her to move it out if she does not live here ? Do I tell her I am hiring someone to come pack it and take it to a storage facility ? Or am I just causing more harm asking her to move it immed
robertsonParticipantDecember 26, 2018 at 5:50 am #191671
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ok2goParticipantDecember 26, 2018 at 6:50 am #191672
Stop making ‘rules’ in your head.
Stop wondering about her motives and look at her actions.
Decide if it is going to work in the future and if what you want is realistic. Probably not but I don’t know the situation.
Think carefully about what you want (re relationship and possessions) and how to get to that outcome.
Ask her what she wants to do with the possessions. Then listen carefully in silence without saying anything.
Say you will call back next day to confirm what you want to do with the possessions.
Give a deadline (if appropriate, but not too far into the future) on moving them.
If necessary and if that passes, move the possessions to a storage facility while giving her address and name (even pay the first month if you care about it or there is no cooperation?)
Give her the key and the address.
If you have better ideas for the outcomes you want, then act on them.
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