Need some input

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Need some input

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    RNSPT
    RNSPT
    Participant
    March 26, 2019 at 11:24 am #197671
    Need some input

    I met this girl and been on 5 dates with her. She recently broke up with her ex 3 months ago. Since the first date we got along really well and since then have kissed, held hands, etc (like a relationship with no titles). She even talks about the future, how she’d be as a wife, marriage, kids, etc. She is the shy type and doesn’t express her feelings completely unless I ask. Anyways, last week I asked her to make things official and her response was “I want to say yes but part of me still thinks that I need to get to know you more.” I said that’s fine I’m in no rush and to just know where I’m at with all of this. We met up yesterday and I hadn’t even mentioned it but she brought it up saying “I’ve been thinking about what you said everyday for the past week and I don’t know what it is (maybe my past relationship) but I just want to take things slow and get to know you and you should get to know me and see if you really do like me. We still held hands and kissed.

    Am I wasting my time?

    RNSPT
    RNSPT
    Participant
    March 26, 2019 at 11:25 am #197672

    Side note, she does say things like “you’re so different from every guy that I’ve met and it makes me feel like you’re too good to be true.” and she can’t keep eye contact with me for more than a few seconds at times. Also, she said that she felt like I wasn’t opening up to her so I did and told her my life story, etc. Before we parted, she said “Thanks for opening up to me” and gave me a kiss. I really do like her but I also don’t want to be dragged along and waste my time.

    • This reply was modified 6 months ago by RNSPT RNSPT.
    kingdomglass
    kingdomglass
    Participant
    March 27, 2019 at 3:31 am #197708

    You are rightfully seeing a few red flags here. It sounds like your goals for a relationship are different, at least for now. One of the hardest parts of relationships is having different ideas of where you want to go. If you need commitment, you’re going to have to let her know. It’s okay to ask why she is hesitating, but it sou ds to me like she likes you but isn’t ready for another full relationship. In this case, it will serve you well to be direct about your needs, and try to gain as much clarity from talking to her as possible instead of guessing.

    rapidx117
    rapidx117
    Participant
    March 31, 2019 at 2:56 am #197954

    ask her what she is looking for? Most people will be honest with you. Then you can tell her what you are looking for. Hopefully you are both looking for the same thing. Worse case you realize that she is not what you are looking for.

    Ramrod51
    Ramrod51
    Participant
    April 1, 2019 at 8:21 am #197949

    Hi RNSPT,

    Sounds like she would like for it to work out between you, but she is struggeling with something.
    To my experience when a girl is 100% into someone, she doesn’t hold back…
    Maybe she is struggeling with her feelings…she sees your good qualities and maybe feels some attraction, but nog enough to make her jump in yet.
    Are you a nice, supportive, always available to her kind of guy? There’s nothing wrong with that, but some girls have a tendancy of only “feeling it” for more bad boy typed guys, although they rationally may want it differently…