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vayacondiosParticipantAugust 17, 2016 at 12:11 pm #108577
So, I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. Everything between us is great.. we talk about anything and everything, goof off together, sex is pretty flippin’ amazing. Where it gets slightly complicated is we’ve both decided to take it fairly slowly and not jump into any serious relationship because we had both recently gotten out of relationships. Mine because my ex was screwing my best friend and he because his girl moved to Texas.
At any rate, he still keeps in touch with his ex. I don’t know the details of the conversations because I’m not snooping but I’ve seen her call him when I’m at his place. I don’t know the extent or content of their contact or anything. Bear with me here.. I genuinely don’t care if he talks to other women or anything like that. I know, especially when she moved away while they were on good terms, that it might be difficult to stop talking to her and I don’t expect that by any means.The advice I’m seeking is as follows…
vayacondiosParticipantAugust 17, 2016 at 12:11 pm #108578
I’m not trying to be someone’s side chick. I really like him but if he is hung up on his ex then we can’t have a relationship. He told me before we got together that they were over because he was clear he was NOT doing a long distance relationship with anyone.
Should I talk to him about it? Should I worry about it? If so.. how can I ask him without sounding hella jealous and petty?
miclessmikeParticipantAugust 20, 2016 at 6:28 am #108967
It’s entirely possible they still chat because they remained friends. My brother and his wife used to occasionally hang out with his ex, and he had zero interest her except as a cordial friend, but it still made his wife understandably anxious. If your boy isn’t exhibiting strange behavior, you’re probably fine.
But if it’s making you anxious, there’s no sense in bottling it up. Lack of communication can easily wreck a relationship, romantic or otherwise. Talking it out would be better than snooping behind his back: the former shows you trust him to be up front with you, while the latter shows total distrust. Bring it up over dinner or something, and make it clear from the beginning that you feel jealous and petty for even mentioning it, but that it bothers you enough to wanna get it off your chest because you don’t want a repeat of the last relationship.
I would try to be casual but concerned as far as presentation goes. If you’re emotional about it, you might come off as obsessively jealous, and that’ll raise a red flag (or it might not, but better safe than sorry). Avoid becoming confrontational over any of it, or giving ultimatums, or anything that makes him feel you’re accusing him of cheating. I wouldn’t tell him that you’ll drop him like a bad habit if he’s not over his ex, either. After all, you’re taking it slow, right? Be supportive. Make it clear that you’re willing to work through it if it is an issue.
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by miclessmike.
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