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women, please help, need your opinions…
I’ve been told not to ask a girl out right after meeting her,
but too often the girl I want to get to know better, just does not show up at the same place again.
For example –
I once got up the courage to talk to a girl while waiting in line at the cafeteria at work, but didn’t get her name.
She seemed friendly, and I thought “I’ll get her name next time I see her here”.
She never showed up again. I hung out every day there, for weeks during lunch time.
I know she wasn’t on vacation because I did see her elsewhere, but busy talking to people.
she’s in a different building on campus
but there would be no reason for me to even be in her building due to different job areas.
what would you do if a guy came up to you in this situation?
I can take a few risks, but could I just show up at her cubicle to say hi?
what possible excuse could I make up, without seeming weird?
how much interest should I show in a short meeting like that?
summer_girlParticipantFebruary 2, 2015 at 2:45 pm #72412
I wouldn’t think it was odd for a guy to introduce himself to me in a situation like that, especially if we had a little chat in line or something, a simple “I’m so-and-so” and a handshake wouldn’t be too weird. Maybe if she seemed open to that and offered her name, ask what department she works in, how long she’s worked there–something that isn’t too intrusive and would make sense based on the fact that you obviously work close to each other. I don’t know if I would go do far as to show up at her desk or something, that might be a little much.
I would also just say that in my experience (and I obviously can’t speak for all women), if a cute guy talked to me at work and I was interested, I’d probably do what you did and keep showing up there around the same time of day for at least a couple days, just to try and run into him again. She’s not doing that–could be coincidence, but I’d bet if she was interested you’d have seen her.February 4, 2015 at 7:47 am #72514
Well I’m definitely interested in seeing her again, not sure about her – like I said it was a very brief exchange, a bit of a smile, something about the food, and then we went in different directions. Don’t know if that was enough to get her “interested” enough to come back just to see me. On the other hand, if I did see her a second time, I would have taken it a bit further to know for sure. But like I said, she never came back. If only life was like a movie and a second meeting could happen LOL.
So still, I shouldn’t ask for a number the very first time?February 10, 2015 at 7:59 am #73039
summer_girl, thanks for your reply.
any other points of view, from other women?
agree, disagree, anything?
sandramangutParticipantFebruary 12, 2015 at 7:40 am #73271
I think if you are really interested in her you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for her number since you don’t see each day and i don’t see why she would really bother about it except she is not that interested
linda_zhangParticipantFebruary 16, 2015 at 9:50 am #73469
The fact that you have made a conversation about general topic is a great first start. I would suggest giving her a few compliments, like if you find her really pretty or what parts of her are really attractive to you (it does not have to be her appearance, can be about her characters too.) Any girl would love compliments like that, and to know that guys find her attractive.
On another note, please present yourself well. Dress well and speak honestly and nicely. Women love compliments but only when they come from guys who are and look respectable. If you dress shabby and talk like you are a player, we would find those compliments repulsive.
Lastly, its OK to ask for phone numbers. If she is not interested in you, she would most likely say she already has a boyfriend. I know rejections are hard, but please get yourself used to them. Just treat these early rejections as practice. I promise it will feel less nerve-wrecking as you progress.February 28, 2015 at 9:29 am #74393
linda_zhang and sandramangut,
thanks for your replies,
but I wish you know what the real issue is.
The problem is I cannot meet her now, she is not showing up at the common area (cafeteria),
and I don’t know her name, number, anything.
I just know which building she is in, and I don’t want to seem “weird” by showing up there and looking around trying to find her.
since it is a different work area, there would be no reason for me to be in that building.September 7, 2015 at 8:27 am #85227
Let it not be said that I did not try.
Having no other way to see her again, I went to her building, found her at what turned out to be a busy time, and with butterflies in my stomach, asked her something. Got turned down, came back with a bruised ego but I will never wonder “what if” again. Moving on… 🙂
madlyinlove3ParticipantSeptember 7, 2015 at 7:50 pm #85248
I would just act normal “friend like” and try to get her name the first time. If she acts like she’s really into you make a move, if she doesn’t then either move on or keep trying!
Good luck!September 28, 2015 at 7:17 am #86027
So much for glass slippers LOL
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