New to being handsome.. what do I do with that?

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New to being handsome.. what do I do with that?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Clueless83
    Clueless83
    Participant
    December 14, 2017 at 7:43 pm #160147
    New to being handsome.. what do I do with that?

    Hi,

    Sorry in advance for the long post, but I think I’ve got kind of a unique problem. Hope your ready for a bit of a life story. In a nutshell.. I’m a 34yr old male in Colorado, and I’ve never been in an intimate relationship of any kind with a female. The reasons are numerous, my parents moved us around constantly, I was the new kid two or three times a year, until I got my GED at 15 both for convenience and to avoid high school (school was always hell for me, and high school was billed as the final 4 circle of hell). Add to that I’ve been overweight and wearing glasses since the 2nd grade.

    Since then I worked odd jobs, somehow always jobs were women didn’t work. I’ve been with several escorts over the years, that’s all that got me through honestly. I’m painfully anti-social to the point I work from home now living with my parents in the basement. Things got dark for a while, essentially it was the old ‘get busy living, or get busy dying’; I finally decided on living.

    Clueless83
    Clueless83
    Participant
    December 14, 2017 at 7:44 pm #160148

    Two years later I’ve lost 80lbs, gained I don’t know how much muscle through bodybuilding, and I’ve still got a full head of hair! Finally I got my teeth fixed and got Lasik. I wish I had done some before pictures, I didn’t think I’d get this far lol.

    I feel like I’ve gone from a 4 to an 8. The difference is night and day, women are SEEING me for the first time. The morons who tell you looks don’t matter, never made the transformation. I’m at a place in life where I feel I’m finally ready both mentally and physically for dating.

    The problem is, I’m some 30 years into being an anti socialite. Being good looking now, feels like wearing a costume. I still have no clue what to say.. maybe less so now that the response won’t be the quick awkward but polite brush off like always.. I never got through the being turned down part.

    There’s more, but stupid site won’t let me post it.

    • This reply was modified 12 months ago by Clueless83 Clueless83.
    franz28
    franz28
    Participant
    December 14, 2017 at 10:21 pm #160155

    It’s true looks doesn’t really matter at all.

    Clueless83
    Clueless83
    Participant
    December 15, 2017 at 8:59 am #160163

    You are dead wrong, I now have first hand knowledge of this. Besides which, and you can Google this, with online dating, only the pictures matter. Dating sites have compiled data from the last 15 years, which shows the pic is 90% of the profile, the text is 10% at best. So yeah, J.J. Abrams can write your profile, it’s useless if have unattractive pictures.

    Anyway, still working on pictures for online dating, I may hire a professional photographer. In shape or not I don’t photograph well. In the meantime, where can one pick up chicks by himself without coming off creepy these days? No single friends for wingmen.

    BlunderBuss
    BlunderBuss
    Participant
    December 17, 2017 at 8:26 pm #160291

    Honestly, just get out there. I know that doesn’t sound very helpful but the only way you’re going to become less awkward or anti-social or whatever is to get out there. I’ve had the same problem for a long time. I don’t think it’s creepy to go to a bar alone if you have to. I think that’s a pretty normal situation, being in your 30’s and not having a lot of single friends. A wingman would be helpful to get you started but I really don’t think you need one to be successful, especially if you’re as attractive as you say you are.

    BlunderBuss
    BlunderBuss
    Participant
    December 21, 2017 at 12:57 pm #160728

    Also, I’ve been meaning to say, don’t hire a pro photographer. Yes, the pictures are the most important part, but it’s not all about physical attraction. They also serve to show that you have a life. You need pictures of life, not static, posed photos. If you want to be really methodical, your top photo should be just you, dressed nicely but casual, in a picturesque place, like on a bridge or in a forest. You should then have at least one picture with friends, at least one picture with family, a picture with pets if you have them (this could also be your cover photo, just make sure you’re in the picture with no other humans), one work picture optional, in that order.

    You want nice photos, but more than one professionally done photo, and they’re gonna think you either have no life or are a serial killer.