No contact for 7 days. Silent treatment. Did we just breakup?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

No contact for 7 days. Silent treatment. Did we just breakup?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2020 at 11:29 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    blueeyes67
    blueeyes67
    Participant
    December 20, 2019 at 9:05 am #226860
    No contact for 7 days. Silent treatment. Did we just breakup?

    My bfand I have been together just over 3 years. We have some communication issues. I’m a communicator and he’s not that great at it and he will admit that. We had a disagreement last week. He tells me I can talk to him about anything. We both expressed some frustrations at our workplace. I attempted to explain my point of view on this one issue. He disagreed with me. That was ok. I told him we didn’t have to think the same way and it was ok to have different views. He then told me I was wrong for thinking the way I did. That hurt. I shut down and I felt like I can’t really talk to him about things that bother me. I said he made his point and it was well said. He said ok. We haven’t spoken in 7 days. I know I’m part of the prob with the silent tx. I always reach out first after argument. That gets old. I feel like he owes me an apology, but I’m sure he doesn’t think he does. I am worried that he will want to break up if I contact him. Any advice?

    herkamer63
    herkamer63
    Participant
    December 21, 2019 at 8:48 am #226910

    If you feel the need to contact him, then by all means but don’t harp on the subject you guys fought about, Talk about something else. Eventually, when everything settles, someone, whether it be you or your boyfriend, someone will engage in an apology then the other will. I wouldn’t even expect it in the first conversation you guys have . It may be the next conversation after or 2. Until then, just get something simple you two can do, movie or going out for a drink. This is coming from a guy.

    Honestly, fights like this are temporary, whether it be in a relationship like this, a husband and wife, or simply among friends. What happens is you let things like this sink in, and both parties will realize how stupid the fight was. Keep in mind too that it’s Christmas time and the end of the year. Things are always crazy around this time, so stress will be high. If he won’t cooperate, just move on from him. It would stink but there’s a whole new year which means new beginnings. Good Luck!

    blueeyes67
    blueeyes67
    Participant
    December 21, 2019 at 9:39 am #226911

    I finally reached out. I felt the need to explain myself and my feelings. He admitted he didn’t handle things well and apologized. Said he thought about reaching out but wasn’t sure if he should or if I wanted to hear from him. I don’t get that. He was the one who hurt me by shutting me down in our previous conversation. Anyway we both apologized and had just a few texts yesterday. Then contact ended mid afternoon yesterday and I haven’t heard from him since. What the heck? I don’t expect things to be back to where they were before our argument. I know we have to ease back in and repair the damage, but geez how are we to do that when we’re back to not talking a again?! I feel like he should initiate this time? Am I wrong? So frustrating and I would like some help. Thank you

    Sierra
    Sierra
    Participant
    December 21, 2019 at 1:36 pm #226912

    Maybe the best thing would be to have a big talk. I would reach out and ask him to meet. I’d then ask him to decide whether it is worth going forward in this relationship or not, whether he sees the future with you or not. If not, then not much to talk about really. If yes, then that’s great, however, you two have to discuss the dynamic of the relationship and how you two handle disagreements in the future because communication is the most important thing!
    I hope it helps and you can resolve your problems!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 23, 2019 at 10:57 am #226951

    “I told him we didn’t have to think the same way and it was ok to have different views.”
    “He then told me I was wrong for thinking the way I did.”
    “I can’t really talk to him about things that bother me.”
    “We haven’t spoken in 7 days.”

    “I {always} reach out first after argument.” Stop that!
    “I am worried that he will want to break up if I contact him.

    It’s clear to me HE is not as emotionally invested in this relationship as YOU!
    Whenever love is MUTUAL {both people} tend to look for compromises and makeup after disputes.

    Three years is a long time for you not to realize this is NOT the guy for you!
    He should be the one worried about YOU dumping HIM!

    My advise is for you to take some time to do some serious introspective thinking about this relationship.
    Are You having Your needs met? Are You genuinely happy? or Going along to get along?

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
    Thankfully there are over 7 billion other people on the planet.