Hayley MatthewsDatingAdvice.comNovember 11, 2018 at 9:57 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT
Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:
Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access
What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!October 23, 2015 at 9:07 am #87238
So long story short, met this girl last year in a class, got her number at the end of the semester, texted for a little bit, but it was clear she wasn’t interested so I moved on
I’ve got her in two classes this year, and it’s totally different. In one class, I was sitting at a table, and she came in and decided to sit next to me, and has been there ever since, and we spend almost every class period talking, flirting, teasing each other, getting to know each other a bit (it’s a three hour class). In the other class we don’t sit together, but if we get the chance to talk it’s more of the same
Here’s the odd part: in the class where we sit together, as soon as class ends she just packs up and leaves without saying a word
Yesterday I checked my phone to see if I still had her number, and I did, so I decided screw it, gonna text her and see what happens. She replied a few minutes later, didn’t ask who I was, and talked like normal, a little flirty, but she stopped replying after…October 23, 2015 at 9:11 am #87239
…an hour and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t say anything rude/douchey or anything that would’ve messed it up, just talked to her the way I normally would (I texted her about our morning class, since I’d missed it, then we talked about a couple other things)
Could it be that she just acts super flirty and interested in that one class for attention? She’s generally not that talkative in classes, but she gets super goofy around me. Never seen her talking to any other guys either. Or could she be playing hard to get?
Either way, unless I hear from her first, I won’t talk to her until I see her again on Monday
What do you guys think?
JustinParticipantOctober 23, 2015 at 2:06 pm #87266
It sounds like you have a good plan. I am currently going through a similar situation that I will post here in a min. There definitely seems to be a connection between you 2, so that’s a really good thing to start with. As far as her being flaky with the text’s, there is really only one option. And it sounds like bad advice and it takes a lot of discipline, but you have to resist the urge to contact her. This will allow her sometime to process why she’s not hearing from you.
Unfortunately, it is the way some people act. She might be thinking after not hearing from you all weekend…Hmmmm, I wonder why he hasn’t texted me. And then you have her thinking about you, and that’s the ultimate goal. Make her come to you. Because if she is cute, she has guys approaching a lot. So make yourself a little less available..and see how that plays out. I know that it sucks..man, I really feel what your saying. It’s messed up, but if you really are interested fall back and give it a few days.October 23, 2015 at 6:34 pm #87295
You’re right, I do have to just ignore it until Monday, it only makes sense. I work all weekend, she probably already has plans, so no point asking her out now
And it’d be better to see how she acts around me. If it’s still the same then hey, I’ll give it another shot. If she’s acting weird/distant then there’s my answer. Texting can be such a crappy way to determine something. I just wish I knew if she’s playing hard to get or whatOctober 23, 2015 at 9:23 pm #87300
Alternate idea: instead of waiting to see her, I could text her on Sunday and ask if she wants to study for our midterm on Monday
superninjanerdParticipantOctober 23, 2015 at 10:46 pm #87301
The reason could, obviously, be a number of things. I know from experience that talking to a boy you like, no matter how confident you are, can be incredibly nerve-wracking. (I once walked away from a conversation with my crush without even saying goodbye. THAT was a ton of fun.) If you think that her nerves aren’t the issue here, then perhaps she herself is has conflicting feelings over you. A sort of “He’s cute, but do I REALLY want this?” that she displays by flirting with you and then backing off. (Again, been there myself.) Let her initiate the conversations for half the time, so that you don’t seem too eager and she doesn’t feel pressured. This mostly sounds like her own insecurities/confusions, not yours. Good luck with this girl, because it sounds like you have a promising start!October 24, 2015 at 12:48 am #87303
I don’t think it’s nerves, honestly, but if it is she’s doing a good job hiding it
I do let her initiate conversations most of the time – in our Monday class (when we sit together), I usually get there before her, and whenever she comes in I usually wait for her to say something (sometimes I don’t even look at her). There’ve been a few times I’ve passed her in the hallways before class and she’ll say hi to me first. Not your typical friendly “oh hey”, but more of a “hey!” Only time I’ve really started a convo with her was when I texted her yesterday
Since you mentioned conflicting feelings, I’ll go ahead and share a secret with you all: she’s taken, or at least, I’m pretty sure she is. She’s never mentioned her boyfriend in class, but a good friend of mine is friends with her on Facebook, and she told me this girl has a few pics with the guy, but her relationship info is hidden. So either it’s on the rocks, or something else?October 24, 2015 at 1:04 am #87306
As for a “promising start”, it’s tough to say that considering she stopped texting me. Yeah, it’s been awesome in class, but I feel if there was anything more she’d be texting back? Then again, when I think of a lot of previous girls I was into and who had some interest in me, it was mostly me making the first move, at least until we were dating. But basically everything up to that was on me. Still, weird that she stopped texting me
So either she’s playing hard to get, she’s just a huge flirt, or like you said, she’s confused
But I do feel if I’m gonna ask her out, I need to do it soon, cause she won’t wait forever (and the semester is running down too)
AnonymousOctober 24, 2015 at 7:33 am #87313
By texting her your showing you’d like to talk to her outside of class which should be an easy hint to take. So it’s her move to see if she wants to keep texting you and see where it goes. You can also be bold and ask her out during class and that way you will know for sure where you stand
coltParticipantOctober 24, 2015 at 8:30 am #87319
Ask her in person to do something outside of school. Never text the first time if it’s preventable. Women always flow to a man who has confidence and balls. You have a good plan but I would say don’t lean on textig too much, you want to at least seem like you have a lot going on, even if you don’t. Women like to try and change a man. If you come off as someone who’s just kinda interested, she’ll be pushing for that to be really interested in her. Especially if she gets a lot of attention from guysOctober 24, 2015 at 8:39 am #87322
Thankfully she doesn’t fall into any of those categories haha, but I’ve met girls who have. I honestly mis-read her, last year she came off as a little serious, a little quiet. When our classes started this year I found out she can be really, really goofy
And I don’t expect her to text me back (or at all), but I will be waiting until Monday when I see her, and if I get the chance, I’ll ask her out face to face. Problem is, we have a midterm that day, so there’s a good chance she could leave before I finish and get a chance to ask her out. I also don’t wanna wait after class and come off like a creep. What should I do in this situation?
I was thinking, if she leaves before me, I could just text her after, ask how she did, and ask what her plans are for the week?
Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her talking to any other guys, besides outside of group work in classOctober 25, 2015 at 4:22 pm #87347
Idea: I might text her today and see if she’s studied for our midterm, just see if/how she replies
JustinParticipantOctober 26, 2015 at 8:56 am #87296
Yeah..you have the right idea. Just have a care free attitude when you see her in class. Try not to make things intense, women can smell that. And it can come across as needy. Play it cool, act like you had a good weekend and everything is fine. And then see how the week goes from there, try not to overthink. We have all been there. I’m there now.October 26, 2015 at 6:59 pm #87415
Texted her and kept it cool, just told her I was gonna get off work in the early evening and go study if she wanted to join in, she said she was at a volunteer thing for a few more hours and then had to do a take home midterm for another class, I was like cool, no prob. Didn’t tell me much one way or the other, but at least it wasn’t bad
Today wasn’t much clearer
So I was sitting in class, studying for our midterm, she came in, started talking to me about it and how she’s not sure how she’ll do, I teased her about not studying with me yesterday, then we did a quick review with each other
We took the exam, I finished a few minutes before her, waited outside, she came out and asked if I thought it was easy, we walked and talked about class a bit
Then her mom called, and I was heading in another direction from her, so I went one way and she went another and said “I’ll see you later”
Not sure I should have any hopes up, or if it was seriously just bad timing on her mom’s part
ToughLoveParticipantOctober 26, 2015 at 9:31 pm #87424
Dude, you are overcomplicating the hell out of this. Coming up with all these tactics, and what not. She’s a woman, not a science project. Girls are attention whores, you have to realize that. They have ADD when it comes to that. You’re not giving her attention, she’ll find it elsewhere. You have to ration that sh*t out. Keep her on her toes. Do the exact opposite of what your brain tells you to do. Gotta be a jerk with women in the beginning to build the attraction. Then, if you want to exclusively date her, you can be a little nicer. Not too nice, or you’re gonna be headed for the friend zone. Have to keep it spiced up. Don’t think about this stuff too much. Just relax and be cool.
Top 10 Best Sites
Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.