Not sure if I'm being played or not…


Not sure if I'm being played or not…

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    December 17, 2018 at 9:26 pm #191229
    Not sure if I'm being played or not…

    *To be clear I never an experience like this and I suffer with severe anxiety*
    I’m a 23 year old who met this awesome guy while I was working. He seems almost perfect as in he likes almost everything I do. We went on a lunch date, he’s a little touchy and I guess PDA is A okay for him but other than that he’s awesome. We talk every. single. day. since our date but he travels for work. When he came back we went out for dinner and then did some gaming. One thing led to another and I stayed over (yes we hooked up). He keeps his full attention on me and acts like a complete dork especially in public! He’s still talking to me now.
    1. Super awful bad texter.
    2. He talked about past dates he went on a little more then he should.
    3. While he was away from his phone I saw that he had a message from that notorious Tinder app (this was the morning after and the message was before we even met up).

    Am I overreacting and this guy might be serious? We’re seeing each other in a few days…

    December 18, 2018 at 2:30 pm #191325

    To start this of, I’ve got (high functioning) social anxiety. So sort of understand that this can be extremely annoying to deal with in dating life.
    I do think you are panicking a little bit too early. The message from the Tinder app could’ve been a late response to something he said days ago (believe me I’m on Tinder I sometimes get answers weeks after I’ve sent something). It also sounds like he’s very sweet with you? He gives you full attention, acts like a dork in public, keeps talking to you now,… sounds like a guy that’s into you! In my past experiences and stories I’ve heard from others, guys who just play you are easily bored. So often, after a hook up they’ll loose interest. It doesn’t sound like that’s whats happening here.
    You can also just ask him, what he expects or wants out of what you’ve got going on. This might seem super scary, especially with anxiety, but it’s the best way to ease your nerves. Otherwise you’ll just keep wondering and worrying.
    Good luck!!

    December 19, 2018 at 8:42 pm #191430

    No you’re not being played.
    First of all you’re not boyfriend and girlfriend and there has been no talk about becoming “exclusive”.
    Both of you are well within your rights to keep your options open.

    Hopefully you chose to have sex because YOU wanted to and not with some “hidden agenda”.
    As long as you’re doing what YOU want to do no one is “playing you”.

    Your #1 con is he’s a bad texter.
    This may come as a surprise but the primary purpose of a phone is to have a vocal conversation.
    As long as he communicates verbally well you shouldn’t hold it against him if he’s not great at texting.

    #2 He talked too much about past dates.
    This is a learning opportunity for you to decide whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with him.
    You have to analyze his possible (motive) for “opening up” with you about his past.
    Is he still hung up on exes? Bragging? Telling you how he’s been used? or Hoping you’d open up to him as well?

    #3 It’s none of your business who he talks with at this point.