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random935ParticipantOctober 9, 2018 at 8:58 am #186474
I met a girl online about two weeks ago while playing online games. We started messaging each other everyday sporadically throughout the day. She has shared some intimate details on her sex life and has been open with me about other things. I have not shared as much about myself as her but have still shared a lot. She added me on snapchat but we have not used it much other than showing each other what we look like. We still messaged everyday after that. Yesterday she asked me if I had a crush on her and I told her yes. She asked me why and she said she was trash. I told her why I liked her and why she isn’t trash. It took her about five hours to respond. She thanked me for what I said and the rest of the conversation went on relatively normally. I don’t know if this means she is into me or she is not sure yet or if it was just a nice way to let me down. How should I proceed? Should I ask her to clarify if she is interested in me or not?
dashingscorpioParticipantOctober 9, 2018 at 1:31 pm #186516
It’s time to make a move to meet up in person. Ask her out to lunch to some place casual.
If she doesn’t want to meet you in person it’s clear you’re wasting time if (you) want more than a cyber friend.
At some point in order for a relationship to develop you have to move from online to offline.
Note: “she said she was trash” This is a huge potential “red flag”.
Most people who are attracted to someone want to say and do things in order to “impress them”.
Maybe you should ask her if SHE has a crush on you.
Out of all the traits a guy looks for in a woman none of them has to do with wanting a girl who think’s she’s trash!
Be on the alert for any other statements along that line. Avoid taking on a “project”. It’s not your job to FIX anyone!
That’s the role of a good therapist.
Generally speaking if you have to “figure out” someone it means they’re not into you.
Keep your options open by dating and engaging with other women.
richiroParticipantOctober 9, 2018 at 8:47 pm #186565
nah i don’t think she’s into you. she’s a drama person who needs people to keep telling her how great she is.
i’d move on. this one will be nothing but trouble.
MorougeParticipantOctober 11, 2018 at 2:09 pm #186853
Honestly, just ask her. It sounds like she’s just looking for validation, but if it was me, I would just rip off the bandaid and find out for sure. You’re either saving yourself years of wondering or you’re getting a jump on obtaining a relationship, you know?
OnequestionParticipantOctober 13, 2018 at 5:12 pm #186989
Just ask her and you will know be direct.
Heidi GoodrichParticipantOctober 19, 2018 at 5:18 pm #187576
Red Flag! I am guessing you both are on the younger side. People in their younger years (late teenage, early 20’s) tend to need a lot more validation as they are figuring out who they are in this world. The very fact that she mentioned she was “trash” tells you that she has a part that doesn’t think very highly about herself and she is needing YOU to tell her otherwise. If that is already happening now, the very beginning, it means that A LOT more is ahead of you! Someone with a lot of low self esteem tends to create a lot of drama and NEED a lot of support because they can’t support themselves. It puts a HUGE amount of pressure on you to make her feel better. So I wonder, what is happening for you that you would want to continue something like this? Maybe you need someone more on the broken side so you can feel better about yourself by helping to fix them? Just something to think about.
- This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Heidi Goodrich.
rotcbabeParticipantOctober 20, 2018 at 7:16 am #187585
Heidi makes an interesting point! Don’t fall into that trap. I’d suggest just being direct! You’ve been talking for sometime and are clearly comfortable enough with each other to ask such a question. It’s better to know now then waste your time!
thatguyParticipantOctober 20, 2018 at 11:14 am #187587
I second that
gordiednuttParticipantOctober 21, 2018 at 4:58 pm #187635
Agree fully with Richiro
Imthatguy123ParticipantOctober 21, 2018 at 9:11 pm #187644
ThrowawayAccountParticipantOctober 23, 2018 at 4:08 am #187726
I don’t see why not, if you don’t ask her you’ll never know. If she says no then I suppose you can cut your losses and find better. I personally don’t think it’s fair she didn’t bother to tell you her feelings on the topic and continuing off as if nothing happened about you confessing to her. Don’t be discouraged you’ll be fine!
Jxabynebk123ParticipantOctober 24, 2018 at 1:21 am #187793
Any development on your situation OP? Did you ask her out in person?
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