Not sure what my next move should be…

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Not sure what my next move should be…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 6:10 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    unluckyinlove22
    unluckyinlove22
    Participant
    August 6, 2019 at 3:13 pm #204949
    Not sure what my next move should be…

    So, I met this really sweet guy online.We hit it off straight away and were texting nearly all day every day for a couple of weeks. We got on really well, and share so many of the same interests and some mutual friends. Suddenly his replies became less frequent, and I left it for a couple of days. In the meantime we became friends on Facebook. I sent him a message in the end asking if everything was ok, and he replied the next day saying that his mum has been diagnosed with cancer and he isn’t coping. I have spoken to one of our mutual friends and this is definitely true, and to be honest it doesn’t sound like the outlook is good. I replied saying that I was really sorry to hear and to take his time and get in touch if he wanted to. He replied ‘ I know you are trying to be sweet and care, but I’m spending time with my family and a lot is going on’. I don’t know what to do next! This was last weekend, and it’s his birthday next weekend. I’m tempted to message him and say ….

    unluckyinlove22
    unluckyinlove22
    Participant
    August 6, 2019 at 3:15 pm #204950

    continued!!
    and say Happy Birthday and I hope things are looking up.
    I really don’t want to lose him as we got on so well, but I want to make the door is left open and not closed.

    What do I do?! Do I leave it and ignore his birthday and then get in contact in a month or so, or send him a sweet message letting him know I’m still interested and will be here when things are a little better for him!

    mid20s
    mid20s
    Participant
    August 7, 2019 at 2:14 pm #205030

    This is so tough. I understand that you really care about him. I have been in a similar situation and I would say my biggest piece of advice is SPACE. Giving him space to be with family and process and grieve will show that you care for him more than constantly reaching out in my opinion. Because if I were in those shoes I would assume you cared about your relationship with him instead of his well being. I would give it a few weeks then reach out again and say something about thinking of him and his family and that you are always there for him and if he needs anything to just reach out.