Not sure what to do

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Not sure what to do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2019 at 9:58 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Quirkk01
    Quirkk01
    Participant
    May 20, 2019 at 10:17 pm #200802
    Not sure what to do

    So this girl and I met online and we pretty much clicked right away. We have some things in common. We’ve been trying the long distance thing for just over a year now. The problem is she frequently takes a while to reply. Sometimes we have a nice conversation going back and forth for a little while, but then she goes back to taking a while to respond, usually 1-3 hours each time. I get that she has a life and does things too, so am I in the wrong to discuss the communication issue between us? She thinks that I’m hurt by it and she keeps calling herself down, that she “sucks with texting and replying” and whatnot. She thinks it might be a depression thing. She tends to get preoccupied with YouTube, Netflix, etc. She says it’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to me or anything like that. She doesn’t like talking on the phone either, it gives her anxiety big time. She recently told me that she’s suicidal and she doesn’t know how long she can hold on. Not sure what to do.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 21, 2019 at 2:58 pm #200861

    “We’ve been trying the long distance thing for just over a year now.”
    “she “sucks with texting and replying”
    “She doesn’t like talking on the phone either..”
    “She recently told me that she’s suicidal and she doesn’t know how long she can hold on. Not sure what to do.”

    First of all there is no relationship without communication especially in a long distance situation.
    Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary. The goal is to be with the person you love.
    Whenever there is no realistic plan whereby someone will relocate to be with the other couples usually drift apart.
    It’s the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until you’re done with being in a LDR that keeps it strong!

    Secondly you are in way over your head.
    If she is suicidal you need to convince her to get help (locally) from a professional.
    Most likely there are services and hotlines in her area where she schedule an appointment.
    Having said that you can’t make anyone get help. Maybe her folks can get her help.

    shaina
    shaina
    Participant
    May 24, 2019 at 4:39 pm #201046

    Aim to be with the person you love.

    keren
    keren
    Participant
    June 5, 2019 at 5:49 am #201636

    i agree

    forummer
    forummer
    Participant
    June 6, 2019 at 7:56 am #201657

    I think she is being honest with you when she says this “She thinks that I’m hurt by it and she keeps calling herself down, that she “sucks with texting and replying” and whatnot. She thinks it might be a depression thing. She tends to get preoccupied with YouTube, Netflix, etc. She says it’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to me or anything like that. She doesn’t like talking on the phone either, it gives her anxiety big time.” It also shows she is trying but she is struggling with issues herself. If you want her, you have to give her the space and time she is comfortable with. If what she gives is not enough for you, make tell her that and then leave the relationship if you believe the levels of communication are not enough for you.