Not sure what to do.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Not sure what to do.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    AJ2018
    AJ2018
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 2:45 am #191770
    Not sure what to do.

    Looking for advice on my situation. About a year ago I attended a bachlorette party for a co-worker of mine. She took us all to a strip club for the evening, and we all had to get lap dances from the women. Normally I do not go for that sort of thing but I found myself turned on and excited. Shortly after I began to become interested in women. I am noticing how beautiful and sexy a woman’s body can be. Lesbian porn appeals to me now. I flirt with women now more than men. I am ready for sex with a woman.
    My problem: I’m a married woman with kids. My marriage is okay and I love my family, but I have desires for woman now that I don’t know what to do with. If I pursue them, I will lose my marriage and family. But I don’t want to live my life hiding my feelings and desires.
    I am considering getting an escort to explore this and see if this is something I want. But to do that will be sneaking around and I don’t know if I can live like that.
    Need advice/help with how to proceed.

    AJ2018
    AJ2018
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 3:07 am #191771

    Just to clarify something:The reason I am considering an escort is because I am extremely nervous and scared about my first time with a woman. I want it to be a great experience and amazing sex, not awkward or rushed. Having never done this before, I need to take my time and calm nerves. I am hoping a professional can provide this.experience.
    Does anyone have advice on how to make my first time great? What should I try? What should I avoid?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 1, 2019 at 10:51 pm #191807

    “Does anyone have advice on how to make my first time great?”
    Rarely is the first time “great” with anyone!
    And for those few instances when it is the people involved usually are “in love” .
    So take the pressure off yourself and let go of the fantasy that it’s going to be “magical”.
    If you choose to do it shut off your mind and let your body do what comes naturally.

    One way you might be able to experiment is by having a fantasy discussion with your husband.
    Almost every guy has fantasized about having a threesome or watching two women have sex.
    At some point you could make him think you’d be willing to (do it for him) if he wanted.
    Who knows it might spice up things in your marriage.

    Another option is post a profile on a lesbian dating site under the category “bi-curious”.
    You can state the type of women you’re attracted to as well as explain your marital status.

    Visit a lesbian bar for drinks.
    Generally speaking women don’t need to pay for sex whether they’re heterosexual or lesbian.

    AJ2018
    AJ2018
    Participant
    January 3, 2019 at 8:22 am #191822

    Thank you for the suggestions. All things I will consider as I navigate this new area in my life.
    One thing I want to explain, discretion is a must for me right now. I guarantee my husband will not approve or participate in this experience. He believes this kind of thing is wrong, period. He would probably be done with me if I told him. And the rest of my family is the same.
    So that leaves me to explore this discretely. I am afraid of being discovered at a lesbian bar or have a profile on a dating site. Maybe that fear is foolish, but it is real. I also am afraid to start a relationship, even a casual one, with a woman right now for fear of that getting discovered and word getting back to my husband. Someday, eventually, I will be at that point but I don’t think I am there yet.
    So that is why I began to consider an escort. It would be discreet, professional, and a stranger. But are the risks worth the cost?
    My desires for woman are so strong that I can’t ignore it.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 3, 2019 at 10:29 am #191863

    “But are the risks worth the cost?”

    That is the question every (would be cheater) has to ask them self.
    Generally speaking cheating is a selfish act and most cheaters do not expect to get caught.

    Very few cheaters are looking to (replace) one relationship with another.
    Their goal is to “compliment” what they already have.

    If you’re simply looking to live out a fantasy for the experience of having done so maybe an escort is the answer.
    However the biggest drawback to that is the possibility of being arrested by an undercover officer.
    At least going to a lesbian bar you could change your appearance by wearing a different color wig.
    Odds are you wouldn’t have trouble finding a woman for a one night stand as long as you do not give out contact info.

    Suppose it’s great? Do you keep risking your marriage?
    Most people don’t get caught cheating when it’s a one night stand.
    What gets them caught is either repetition of having them or establishing an ongoing relationship.