Not sure what to do/how to feel?


Not sure what to do/how to feel?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    June 11, 2018 at 4:17 am #176656
    Not sure what to do/how to feel?

    I was in a five year relationship that wound up being abusive and destroyed most of my self-esteem. After getting out I started hanging out with one of my best and oldest friends who introduced me to her group of close friends. One of those friends is a guy who at first I didn’t think to much about but now I kinda maybe like? Not sure how I feel really, but he seems to be maybe interested in me? It’s weird and complicated because he used to date said best friend, but for a short period of time. He also talks about other girls, being interested in other girls, etc while around me and yet we keep catching each other staring and I just get that “vibe” I guess? I don’t know how to explain it. From the girls he talks about I don’t think I’m his type. He’s not really the guy I usually go for either, and I don’t really know how to feel. We connect on an intellectual level and like the same things. Am I just finding something that’s not there?

    June 11, 2018 at 4:26 am #176657

    I’m only 3 months out of my abusive relationship, though I was trying to get out for a few months before that. I have since major hang ups about intimacy and basically this guy is sweet and gentlmanly. Supposedly he broke up with a girl he was kind of dating and insinuated he was interested in another girl. My friend suggested a girl I guess he’d liked before who didn’t reciprocate it but he mentioned this shortly after I’d been getting the “vibes” and the stares. I really don’t know what to make of this… Like I said I have low self esteem so I’m not looking around for guys who might potentially like me and making assumptions. At the very idea that I kind of maybe thought he was cute I decided he probably wouldn’t be interested in someone like me anyway so I shouldn’t even attempt to pursue him. I’m mostly worried about two main things, that he might actually like me and then what do I do, and how do I even being it up to my friend? I still don’t know why they split.

    June 11, 2018 at 4:48 pm #176677

    He wants you

    and the thing about them talking about the other girl is just them making you Jules

    Its up to you you want the guy and start and leave the past behind
    or just give a clear stop sign

    Let me know how it goes

    June 12, 2018 at 7:50 am #176763

    Probably it is not there, you can not be sure.
    It is onyl sure if he initiates sg to you directly eg a date…

    I had the same kind of vibe you are talking about with guys, it is real, but it does not mean he is any serious about you.

    June 12, 2018 at 11:03 am #176810

    “He also talks about other girls, being interested in other girls, etc while around me ”
    If a guy were really “into you” he wouldn’t be having discussions with you {about other women he’s interested in}.
    Based on what you’ve said here you shouldn’t get your hopes up for anything beyond a “friends with benefits” scenario.

    “You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
    A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination.
    That’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop, The Friend Zone! ”

    Seriously focus on continuing to heal from your past abusive relationship and rebuild your self-esteem.
    Best wishes!