Hayley MatthewsDatingAdvice.comAugust 8, 2019 at 9:47 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT
Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:
Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access
What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!
WithoutweaponParticipantMarch 12, 2018 at 5:04 am #167191
I am 43, divorced since 2013, dating for first time in 22 years. I was married for 17 years and had never dated for longer than 3 months before I met my ex.
My marriage was riddled with highs and lows. I came out of it with little left of myself that hadn’t been tattered or tarnished. That being said, I wouldn’t change a single minute of it, because even though I may be damaged goods, I have been blessed with the two most overwhelmingly precious children I could’ve ever had the fortune to receive.
KNOW THIS ABOUT ME: I either instigated, allowed, or took part in everything that occurred in my marriage and I blame no one except myself for my circumstances.
My concern, simply put, is this: how do I go about retraining my thought processes when dealing with a partner? The anxiety, the skepticism, the self doubt…THE TRIGGERS! And how do I successfully walk the tight rope between listening to my gut and acting on my neurosis?
Thank you for your words of assistance in advance!
IvywaveParticipantMarch 13, 2018 at 9:45 am #167268
Actually the triggers can’t be controlled or surpressed. u need to let them come and then heal them.
Take it slow when u dealing with a new partner. Take slow breath and imagine u r sweet and in perfect situation to talk to a partner….
but same time get a chance to heal the trigger.
the best is to find a partner who can work together with u.
WithoutweaponParticipantMarch 13, 2018 at 4:42 pm #167342
Thank you for the input. The worst thing about the triggers is not the fact that they occur, it’s the fact that afterward my mind has to cycle through so much baggage. It makes you lose sight of what’s directly in front of you and I take offense at that for the singular fact that it renders me distracted and disabled for those I care about the most. It took me a long while to pressure my mind back into play, to not just be despondent, to be willing to learn to cope properly. I still have days where I just want to hide, where every little thing is too much to endure. Then I get pissed off! Determined! Full of life!
I dear I spend so much time keeping myself in check that I am failing to say some of the things that I should.
People need to know that awareness comes in stages, just like everything else: recognition, avoidance, evaluation, confrontation, correction…
Top 10 Best Sites
Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.