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Phxguy13ParticipantDecember 29, 2017 at 6:38 am #161096
This might not be a similar situation but I need some advice. I’ve been seeing this girl for about a month now. We hang out almost every day since we met. We’ve gone on a few dinner dates, a movie and lunches and drinks. She just broke up with her ex about a week before we met
Tonight was my birthday and had dinner with about 13 of my friends that she attended. We kiss all the time, in the car when I pick her up, drop her off and sometimes at dinner. But never when were out in public cuz she says she doesn’t like pda. But she doesn’t refer to me as her bf, and tells me she doesn’t like labels. We havnt had sex yet nor has she even slept over. She tells me she likes me but doesn’t want a relationship or at least put labels on us. Unfortunately yes I’ve been spoiling her. But I can’t tell what’s going on since she texts and calls me all the time and we see eachother almost every day. But after a month of only kissing, I feel I see the signs but need advice
Phxguy13ParticipantDecember 29, 2017 at 6:48 am #161097
We’ve been “hanging out” or “dating” for a month now. She even came over Christmas day for a little bit. We did exchange gifts to eachother and she even got a gift for my mother who was in town. When were in the car I put my hand on her leg here and there, a kiss here and there at a red light. These are all great signs except when were out where she might run into someone she knows, PDA is off limits. Even a hand around the waist let alone stealing a kiss. She does bring up her ex a lot (they were married now getting a divorce) but still talks about “my ex this” “my ex that”. So I don’t know how to read this or what to do. So please help me out
StellarvisionParticipantDecember 29, 2017 at 3:36 pm #161104
Oh yeah she’s probably going to need more time to get over her ex, especially if they’re still in the process of divorce. That’s gotta be weighing heavily on her mind. Think about it. It’s not easy to just switch from having strong feelings for one person to someone new in a short time span – at least for most people. That also explains why she doesn’t want to immediately jump in all the way with the sleep over, pda, and boyfriend label; she’s just getting out of a huge commitment so she’s wary about creating new ones right away. Then again pda could just be a pet peeve of hers and not something on you personally.
StellarvisionParticipantDecember 29, 2017 at 3:37 pm #161105
Best thing you can do right now is empathize with her when she talks about her ex; maybe she had a lot of good times along with the bad, and would rather think of those while she goes through this tough time. Showing that you listen intently in a non-judgemental and non-jealous way is a good first step into making her like you more; she undoubtedly didn’t get that from her ex. She seems to like you enough to hang out a lot and make out, so that’s a good sign. Relax and take confidence in that. She’ll notice.
Other than that, try doing new things on your dates that create good memories for her with you in it.
carmelo20171ParticipantJanuary 1, 2018 at 12:47 am #161138
It looks like she needs a bit of time to get over her ex and it then comes down to a matter of how patient you want to be in terms of spending time with her without getting more than kissing.
Matt83SParticipantJanuary 1, 2018 at 7:46 am #161141
Hi there from what you have said she defiantly likes you as she is wanting to spend time with you. Kissing is a very good sign that you both are interested. By her labbling you as her boyfriend there is an attachment that is formed and it also puts expectations in place this may make her feel under pressure to try and move on from her ex quicky so she can make you happy. She needs the time to process her emotions and feelings so just be there for her and go with the flow of things. You will both get closer together in the long term by allowing time
acetopwonParticipantJanuary 2, 2018 at 9:09 am #161110
Give her some time, I feel like she would appreciate being able to get used to all that.
mrjohnnyParticipantJanuary 17, 2018 at 4:18 pm #162663
Yeah man, I’m late to the party on this response but she is DEFINITELY not over her Ex and that’s a losing battle for you. There’s no way she’s over her feelings that quick. Nope, leave that alone immediately..she is not ready!
Testsubject95ParticipantJanuary 18, 2018 at 9:11 pm #162801
Just be patient, she is probably still trying to get over her ex, I’m sure it will be work out fine.
IamplParticipantJanuary 21, 2018 at 8:38 pm #162941
The divorce is weighing heavy on her mind and emotions. You are her validation that she is still desirable and will help her get thru this rough patch easier. As for you, it depends how much you like her and wants her to be part of your life and hold her hands while she goes thru the divorce. You still need to find out after the divorce what her true feelings were for you.
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