Possible asexual thinking about coming out

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Possible asexual thinking about coming out

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2018 at 5:04 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    wolf1992
    wolf1992
    Participant
    October 20, 2018 at 5:36 pm #187616
    Possible asexual thinking about coming out

    I’ve been super hesitant to come out due to family problems, but am 90% certain that I am at least bi, probably leaning toward women b/c men just piss me off half the time. I’ve gone on a few dates with men, but have never actually dated. Here’s the kicker though, my sexual attraction scale is super low, sometimes nonexistant,and I identify as asexual (not repulsed). Now that’s not to say that those feelings won’t change if I’m in a committed relationship and actually develop feelings for someone. I suspect that I may just be more gay than I thought and demisexual, however obviously I won’t know until I get to that point. Soooo how would y’all advise I start my dating process? I get newly out women being a danger zone for lesbians hurt in the past, and I’m not trying to lead anyone on, but I just don’t know at this point. Doesn’t help that I’m 26yo with no experience in this department 😛 how would you start dating if you were me?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 21, 2018 at 9:25 am #187623

    If you really don’t know who you are or what you want why bother with labels?
    When you’re in a committed relationship and want to introduce that person to family you can give yourself a label.
    If you just feel the need to have a label call yourself “bi-curious” since you’ve “never actually dated”.

    “my sexual attraction scale is super low, sometimes none existent and I identify as asexual ”
    Both men and women normally have sex drives and they want to feel desired by their mate
    Maybe you might want to see if there are any {asexual dating sites/apps}.

    You might be one of those people who has no desire to date or be in a romantic relationship period.
    Don’t force yourself to do anything you have no real desire to do just to conform with society.
    You can simply enjoy your career, traveling the world, having platonic friends, or possibly become a nun.
    Life is a (personal) journey!
    .

    wolf1992
    wolf1992
    Participant
    October 21, 2018 at 6:27 pm #187641

    I know lesbians tend to run from the bi-curious thing and I’m fairly sure i’m more into women than men at this point. Like I said, I’m not repulsed. I’m willing to compromise and alot of allosexual people are willing to compromise. Asexuals make up <1% of the dating pool, and asexual lesbians are far lower than that… I’m not aromantic. I WANT a long-term relationship, maybe even kids if we adopt and she is the primary caregiver (though I’d probs prefer to just travel). I would probably rather compromise more on the sex than be alone forever.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 3:00 pm #187715

    well you can try a lesbian dating site and just put that you’re only interested in casual dating or activity buddies and see how you feel on a “date” – does it make you uneasy, nervous? or can you feel attraction and wanting to get closer?

    That would be a quick way to find out.

    otherwise just keep networking, meeting people, and having a good time. If somebody is attracted to you or you end up being attracted to somebody – you go from there. (that is typically more successful than sites or events exclusively meant for dating.)

    So just let it evolve and happen organically. Sure put yourself out there a bit but don’t force it. Just like the dating you have been doing to this point.

    Good luck on everything.