Post-date isolation

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Post-date isolation

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    April 4, 2020 at 10:29 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    March 25, 2020 at 5:00 pm #232074
    Post-date isolation

    I recently had a 1st date – this one was different. We both work in healthcare, but she works in a high risk area and I’m in a low risk area for coronavirus. We met at a beautiful hiking area near a lake, and with permission she brought her dog. Great conversation, bonded over the dog, kissed at a beautiful vista point overlooking the lake (as the dog tied us up with the leash). Obvious chemistry. After the last kiss an hour later, I suggested I come over to her place later, we both laughed, and “I said no expectations, just to see you” (she was going to be working long hours for the next 4 days). She agreed. A few hours later, she texted me saying she really is into me but that we should be keeping social distance for a few weeks. At first I thought she was letting me down gently, but a text debate with her led me to conclude she likes me, but is trying to do the right thing. The question is how do I keep her interested over texts?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 25, 2020 at 5:28 pm #232076

    “The question is how do I keep her interested over texts?”
    Why does it have to be over texts?

    Make it a point to have actual verbal phone conversations and video chats.
    You can also send her emails or mail her a greeting card.

    Secondly it should all come down on YOU.
    If she is “into you” there should be some effort on (her) part.

    In the meantime don’t make the mistake of getting emotionally invested too quickly.
    Don’t end up {sitting by the phone waiting for a text} from someone you’ve only had ONE date with.

    Remember you are NOT in a relationship! Keep your options open until things actually change.
    Continue to meet and date other women who actually are available.

    Time will tell if you two are heading towards something more.

    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    March 27, 2020 at 3:08 pm #232238

    Good advice, though I despise talking on the phone. The greeting card thing is a good idea – what a pleasant surprise that would be for somebody interested! I don’t know why I’m getting emotionally invested quickly – it doesn’t feel like a choice I can think my way out of. Definitely been keeping the options open, more dates in the last week than in such a short period before, and not all bad ones, but nothing like her. So far she’s been reaching out first generally and it seems like we might be meeting up again soon. So far so good.

    hbfhubfv
    hbfhubfv
    Participant
    March 29, 2020 at 2:57 pm #232273

    Dating during this time is risky that is why over the phone is best but if you do decide to meet up. You should take precautions stay a good distance away just in case.

    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    March 30, 2020 at 3:34 pm #232324

    I’m not going to say it’s risk-free, but lower risk than most things given it’s just one-on-one with two healthy young people. Truly risky things would be going to a crowded concert, bar or gym, all of which are closed for that very reason, i.e. the risk comes primarily with being exposed to the <6 foot exhalations of a lot of people at once, some of which probably have mild symptoms. Now, if you date say, 4 people a week that can add up, so I’m leaning towards doing a videochat for future first dates to keep the in-person numbers small. 2nd date is quite a bit more serious, and just a few people over time, so the risks I would get from dating are lower than the risks of going to the grocery store, frankly. Supposed to see her again on Wednesday, but yeah I think she plans to keep social distance during it and she’s not even sure how long she’ll keep that up. But if she’s the right one in the long-term, this’ll all be small looking back.