Question/Opinions Needed

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Question/Opinions Needed

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    February 3, 2019 at 7:12 pm #194063
    Question/Opinions Needed

    I have a gay relative (lives in Illinois) who has been talking online for a year to another gay man (lives in Central America). After one meetup (in person) down there, they got engaged. After getting engaged, they have met (in person) two or three more times down there. That guy still lives in Central America, and has been or is working with U.S. immigration. Their marriage will be outside of the continental U.S. My gay relative is in his mid fourties, and the other man is in his late twenties. To the best of my knowledge, the other man has not been to the U.S before, but i could be wrong.

    What are your thoughts and opinions ?

    • This topic was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by frankt frankt.
    • This topic was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by frankt frankt.
    • This topic was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by frankt frankt.
    plsdontdoanything
    plsdontdoanything
    Participant
    February 4, 2019 at 1:23 am #194076

    ignore me doing this to post a thread

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    February 4, 2019 at 2:01 am #194078

    plsdontdoanything

    Your posting is ambiguous

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 22, 2019 at 12:01 pm #195430

    This has nothing to do with your relative’s sexuality.
    Two red flags that stand out is the long distance/different country and the age difference.
    It’s natural for many people in the U.S. or Western world to raise an eyebrow when these types of relationships arise.

    There is always a question of whether or not the U.S. citizen is being used financially or to help the other person migrate.
    However it’s also important to look at the motives of (the citizen) and why they chose to venture outside of their country.

    Generally speaking when someone ventures out of their own country to seek love especially with a younger person there’s a reason. In the case of guys looking for mail order brides it’s usually because they cannot attract women deemed {out of their league}.
    It’s easier for them to attract someone young and beautiful from a (poor country) than to find a similar person at home.
    Essentially it’s a “trade off” and the biggest risk is for the older person who forgets this.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 22, 2019 at 7:09 pm #195468

    is this normal for your cousin? moving so quickly?
    have you and your cousin spoken about this situation?

    it doesn’t look good to me. people getting married too soon. especially when its a foreigner and moving here is involved. but you never know – maybe they have an “arrangement” they’ve agreed to and thus it serves both of them possibly?

    if it’s just a “relationships” angle – yeah.. doens’t look good to me. but who knows? i’d get the story from your cousin first and foremost and hear it from them first.