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ds1thParticipantJuly 1, 2016 at 8:26 pm #104332
My boyfriend and I have hit a roadblock in our relationship. His family leaves near where we live, and my parents don’t. He lived with his parents until he was 30, and sees them daily. If we go out on the weekends we take his dog over to their house and it requires a 30 minute conversation either when we leave, when we get back, or both. We get asked over about once a month — birthday, weekend dinner. It is a lot for me, and my boyfriend believes I need to go to every event his parents invite us to because he wants to. I feel that if my boyfriend and I aren’t spending the day together (we still live apart) and I need to take care of my home, or relax away from him for a day, I should be able to opt out. I’m not very social. I offered a compromise of twice a year I can opt out of a ‘optional, last minute dinner’ — not birthday or holidays which you know are coming. He said no, and questions if we can stay together because I embarrass him when I say no. Am I wrong not to go?
Love ExplainedParticipantJuly 3, 2016 at 9:50 pm #104359
Sounds like your keeping score and you feel you’re behind. If your parents lived nearby and he was going to your parents house for events would you still feel this way? I would hope that you would be glad that someone is there for you two and enjoys your company enough to want you there. That being said, you should be able to say no and have your own time and space when you feel like it. It could be worse, you could have in-laws that don’t like you.
eljayParticipantJuly 4, 2016 at 1:14 pm #104389
There is more going on here than just the parents. you need to sit down and figure out how you feel about him. These feelings tend to snow ball. Be honest with yourself then with him. You may love him but something isn’t right here. I am sure his parents were in the picture since your relationship started. You may not be happy anymore. If you see yourself beginning to not like certain things that he does that he has always done, that’s a good sign of unhappiness. You may need time by yourself to figure things out. The other strong possibility is that you don’t like his parents that much and subconsciously your are trying to put a stop to him frequenting there home all time. Either way you have to figure out why you are bothered so much.
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