Reunited 30 years after high school

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Reunited 30 years after high school

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    March 3, 2019 at 2:34 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Steve LaRue
    Steve LaRue
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 10:32 pm #196467
    Reunited 30 years after high school

    Ok here is the very abridged version…recently reconnected with a high school sweetheart. She has had 3 failed abusive marriages. She has 3 teen agers living with her from the second ex. I am a widower with a son. I know I love her but she cannot commit the same way yet because of all the negative done to her and her kids. How do I help her and more importantly her kids see me not as another abuser?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 12, 2019 at 10:57 am #196515

    Give it time. Don’t try to force anything.
    Anyone with several bad experiences requires proof over the long haul.

    There is also the possibility that she doesn’t trust (herself).
    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    From what you’ve said she has not had a great “track record” when it comes to choosing men.
    It will probably take a while for her to convince herself that she “got it right” this time.
    All you can do is be patient, loving, supportive, and good to her and her teenagers.

    Last but not least consider that YOU may not be HER type.
    Some women simply have a penchant for being attracted to “bad boys”, narcissistic types, Alpha males, and the like.
    Being with a “nice guy” is out of their comfort zone. It’s like giving up “junk food” to go on a strict healthy diet.
    While it is wise on her part to be with you it’s possible you don’t make her heart skip a beat.
    Making “healthy choices” is often an “acquired taste” for a lot of people.
    Some are unable to make permanent changes.