She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

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She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 3:53 pm #185777
    She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    Hi everyone. I recently me this great girl named Valerie and have been on 3 dates with her. I have known her for about 5 weeks and we text and talk all day. We have amazing chemistry and really can’t get enough of each other.

    Last night I was invited back to her place to hang out and watch a movie. We instead drank wine and had incredible sex. It was almost 7am and she asked me to leave. I thought she was joking. I have no problems going home and could hop on an UBER but I was really exhausted and intoxicated. I was kind of hoping she would at least let me sleep on the sofa for a few hours then leave.

    Now, she does have some anxiety issues and also mentioned if I were her boyfriend I could probably stay. I respect her a lot but feel like she was a little inconsiderate on asking me to leave in that instant.

    I ended up leaving of course cause I don’t want to upset her. Was she selfish? Am I out of line here? I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

    maka55
    maka55
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 10:05 pm #185782

    That is a little strange but maybe she wants her space and just doesn’t like people staying over? I think it is a little inconsiderate but maybe it goes deeper than what you think. I think you could casually bring it up the next time she invites you to her place and ask if you staying over would be okay with her. If she says no again, i would just ask why she doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea. Just make sure this is all done casually and not attacky.

    MiaSara
    MiaSara
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 9:14 am #185794

    I agree it is a little strange- how would a few more hours make a difference? I can tell you I have a few friends that will only “allow” boyfriends to sleep over. Perhaps she got caught up in the heat of the moment and then realized in the morning that you two have not defined your relationship yet and she is confused by you staying over. Have you reached out to her since? If so, hos did she respond?

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 10:31 am #185807

    Thanks for your reply maka55. I think the combination of her not getting enough sleep, alcohol and experiencing a sinus infection made her uncomfortable. I definately won’t be attacky when we I question her about this. Last thing I want is for her to think I am trying to force my way into her life.

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 4:52 pm #185808

    Thanks for your reply MiaSara. Exactly, how would a few extra hours make any difference. We have spoke about it since and she mentioned to me she doesn’t want anyone staying over unless she loves them. She is also not over her ex so I now understand why it was a problem for her. I will be patient with her because she really is a beautiful person and feel she is worth the wait.

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 5:07 pm #185876

    Thanks for reply MiaSara. Exactly, how would a few more hours make any difference. We have spoke about it since and she told me she doesn’t want anyone sleeping over unless she is in love with them. She also mentioned she is still not over her ex yet. So now that I know this I will be patient with her because she really is a beautiful person and feel she is worth the wait.

    bree12
    bree12
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 8:54 am #185879

    I’ve had similar where he didn’t ask me to leave but dropped hints afterwards about being tired and how he had to get up early etc. It hurt a bit but I ignored the feeling. This was a red flag that I ignored, we dated for months and it ended up that he wasn’t over his ex or ready to commit to me. I’m not sure how you felt but I felt a little disrespected/used. I would try and broach the subject and don’t fall into the trap of sleeping with her if you know you’re going to be ‘sent’ home afterwards. One night when I left, I was left in the street to de-ice my car at midnight while he went back to bed..same as you trying to find your way home intoxicated. I think you deserve a little more respect if I’m honest, I would take this as a red flag personally if it happened to me again…

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 12:01 pm #185931

    I wouldn’t make a big deal out of this at the (3) date mark. It’s her house, her rules.

    You said: “We have amazing chemistry and really can’t get enough of each other.”

    However you also said: “….mentioned if I were her (boyfriend) I could {probably} stay.”
    Now that’s an interesting statement. Apparently right now she sees you as ‘friends with benefits” or a “booty call”.
    Well sex is considered an intimate encounter, for some people waking up in each other’s arms the next day is too intimate.

    In other words (you) should avoid becoming (emotionally invested) in her at this point.
    You’re in what is called a “situationship” where things have yet to be defined.
    It’s too early to have “the talk” about being exclusive or even asking her what (she) wants.
    Conversations on topics like that this early usually make one come off as needy, desperate, or seen as a potential fatal attraction. If three months go by and it’s the same scenario you’re a “booty call”. Enjoy the “great sex”!

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 3, 2018 at 8:13 pm #186132

    Thanks bree12. I feel you, being asked to leave did feel a bit hurtful to me. The thing is she jokes with me a lot and says things that aren’t gonna happen but they do. Such as us having sex, she said it’s not gonna happen but it happened. So when she told me she doesn’t want me to stay the night I thought she was just kidding. I have spoken to her since, everyday actually. I will just give her the space that she needs in order to heal because I see great potential in us.

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 3, 2018 at 8:37 pm #186133
    Reply To: She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    Thanks for your reply dashingscorpio. It’s hard to not become emotionally invested because I really do like her and really do see a future with her. We talk everyday and I understand and fully accept she needs her space right now even if it sucks for me to have to leave her place every time we have sex. The last thing I want is for her to think I am forcing my way into her life and into her place, that’s not who I am.

    Her breakup with her ex was 2 to 3 months ago and we spoke about a timeline of 6 months from now to see how she feels about us. We had amazing sex again yesterday and I am seeing her all weekend. She is coming over to celebrate thanksgiving and will also meet my family. We know each other so well now that we are at the point where we message each other the same thing and complete each others sentences. We talk everyday and we make each other laugh. I have not met a woman like her and really feel she is worth the wait.

    docbrown1985
    docbrown1985
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 12:07 am #186232
    Reply To: She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    Some women are just like that.

    TWill21
    TWill21
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 2:28 am #186234
    Reply To: She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    I think it is okay to do just this once. As you get closer to her this will grow to be unnecessary.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 5:22 pm #186397
    Reply To: She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    what has she said about it since? you’ve talked with her every day since right?

    my experience is.. there are girls with some weird … “rules” or “image” things they deal with. So she doesn’t wnt you to be her bf or has a rule that guys can’t “stay over” unless they’re bf’s and committed (even though you essentially stayed over).. lol. but by kicking you out before she officially got up it satisfies her “can’t stay over rule” ith the guy “she’ll never sleep with.”

    Be careful with these gals. They can wreak havoc on your mind with all the weird in and outs, hot and colds, act one way then act another way. What you need to do is be less accomodating to her and make her appreciate/earn what you “allow” her to enjoy about you. If you give her a free ride and anythign she wants all the time – she’ll just use you and keep doing weird stuff up and down knowing there are never any consequences for her to treat you better.

    Want to shape her up? Only reward her when she acts how you want.

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 8, 2018 at 1:23 am #186424
    Reply To: She Asked Me To leave Her Place After We Had Great Sex?

    Thanks for your reply Richiro. She said she still needs more time because she doesn’t love easy. She also has a history of dating losers from Tinder who never appreciated her so I can’t blame her to for wanting to take her time with me even though she didn’t meet me off of Tinder.

    She came over for thanksgiving to meet my family and everyone loved her. I know she is a good girl and have decided I will take my time with her.
    I don’t think I need to play games with her because we have amazing sex and she is giving me every reason to trust her.