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SigmaParticipantMarch 11, 2020 at 8:43 pm #231396
I have a girlfriend and we loved each other for the last 2 years! HOWEVER, for the last couple of weeks she started shouting and hating me because I am having a hard time getting a job in my chosen domain for the last 4 months and I want to help my parents pay for a house. We need 2 thousand pounds and 2 months of full time work and I haven’t been able to get that job after 27 interviews. She suggests me to take an internship, which requires over 6 months to work for shit money and give up on my parents’ plans altough it would help me get the job I want with the accumulated experience. However, my father has a couple of months left to get that contract and cannot do it without me getting that full time job. So she wants me to get this internship for the long term, but my parents want us to get this house now. So I am experiencing some bad arguments with my girlfriend because she thinks my decision is bad for my future. Can you guys suggest me anything please?
dashingscorpioParticipantMarch 13, 2020 at 8:37 am #231480
You didn’t mention how old you are.
Nevertheless it’s not the child’s responsibility to provide for the parent.
The only exception might be if they were elderly or ill.
However if that’s not the case you should be focused on establishing your career.
Ultimately it’s up to you and not what anyone else thinks.
One would hope parents would be encouraging their adult children to pursue (their dreams).
Your girlfriend doesn’t hate you, she hates your decision.
She may also be thinking you’re going to be tied to your parent’s apron strings for the rest of your life.
Some people even when married put their parents above their spouse and own children.
They continue to be controlled or manipulated until their parents die.
Don’t be too surprised if your girlfriend decides to end the relationship.
Clearly she doesn’t like what she sees as a possible future with you.
It’s not a matter of who is “right” or “wrong” but rather if you agree or disagree.
She may just be wrong for (you). Life is a (personal) journey!
“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”
– Stephen R. Covey
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by dashingscorpio.
AnonymousInactiveMarch 13, 2020 at 5:03 pm #231508
Just have a full-time job and help your parents out in the meantime while looking for the job in your domain. Don’t complain you are trying and don’t understand why no one has hired you etc… if you are doing so. If your chosen domain gives you the ability to freelance then freelance jobs on the side of working. It will build up your experience, give extra money, and look good. Sounds like there is to much tension. You need to take a step back, breath, and things will work out in there own way. Do something nice for your girlfriend and have a relaxed fun environment.
sandraparrishParticipantMarch 14, 2020 at 4:03 am #231513
Inhale. Hold it. Exhale.
You need to let go of some assumptions, one of them being that your life is on some sort of track and that you’re unable to change its course. Another being that your teenage years define you. They don’t. They’re just a section of the complex story that is you. You’ve only seen the first act of the story. That’s no guarantee of how the story ends.
A lot of people have turned their lives around when they were much older than you currently are. I know of one such woman. She was jobless, had gone through a failed marriage, was a single parent living on welfare benefits and diagnosed with clinical depression. She had contemplated suicide several times, but her daughter kept her from acting on those thoughts. She was as poor as one could be without being homeless. You probably heard of her. Her name is Joanne Rowling, the author of Harry Potter. Her life wasn’t decided at 23. Hell, her life wasn’t decided at 33 when she published the first book.
ConFuzdParticipantMarch 15, 2020 at 11:07 am #231526
Too much pressure on you from your parent and the pressure that your girlfriend is allowing could be valid on so many levels, why do you have to help your parents get a house???? I’m a bit confused on that subject matter. What are you going to do 5 to 10 years from now when you’re getting your home but can’t do it because you have put so much in getting your parents home? Once again, I’m a bit confused. You getting a job in your domain is hard, try to obtain a job in a different domain or you may want to consider the internship to help you get started in a job through the internship. You have some decisions to make and you have to make them for the betterment of “You”
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