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RjaceParticipantJune 7, 2018 at 8:03 am #176426
So i like and starting to get feelings for a girl. I know her from evening dance classes we both do, we known each other for about 18 months. I been single now for about 2 years and now back on my feet starting the dating thing again but a bit nervous. We are good friends. But when i am with her i feel theres something more but a bit nervous to ask here out just incase i am looking too much into it.
However i do think she likes me. As we have great eye connection (deep into each others eyes) and there always a smile with it. When together she often very close even with arm touching mine. She can be playful (playful punches etc) theres a little bit of flirting. She sometimes looks over to me across the room and if i spot it she always smiles. She also said a few things that made me think she likes me.
I should just ask her out either way but i dont want to make our friendship go if i been looking into it wrong.
Aka AkumaParticipantJune 7, 2018 at 2:44 pm #176493
I am sorry that nobody has answered this question on this forum??? WTF aren’t there any PUAs on this site??? There is only one answer to any dating question that begins with “should I,” the answer is YES!!! I feel that you have already lost this one because you have taken no action for 18 mths. This is a serious demonstration of low masculinity. Remember this rule: Women want a man. A man takes action on his desire. This is sexy to everyone. Take action, the worst that can happen is you learn that she doesn’t like you, BFD. She just saved you time and now you are free to move on to someone who does like you. Polarizing your potential dates immediately is the right thing. It will save you time, emotional suffering and ensure that you will meet a more compatible partner. You need to read some male dating literature. Seriously, you are way behind the power curve. Based on wording in your question I recommend that you start with “Without Embarrassment” by Michael Pilinski.
RjaceParticipantJune 8, 2018 at 3:56 am #176526
Thank you for the reply. So my wording is rubbish at these things so we known each other for 18months but only really started speaking the last few months and the connection i.e. deep eye connection and touching etc has only really started more so in the last 2 months. But i do agree that i am behind a bit. I am only just getting back on my feet after a shitty messy seperation. So i known the answer would be yes and i am kinda still step back so i will ask as after all the only bad thing will be no. Once again thank you.
PJ_4516ParticipantJune 8, 2018 at 11:50 pm #176614
Yeah man just go for it. The worst that can happen is she says no, and if she does, just play it off and change the subject. Act like it never happened and keep the friendship alive (if that is what you want).
dashingscorpioParticipantJune 9, 2018 at 9:55 pm #176626
“I should just ask her out either way but I don’t want to make our friendship go if I’ve been looking into it wrong.”
Yes, if you hit on her and she’s not into you there is going to be some distance created by her.
On the other hand if she is into you then you can explore becoming a romantic couple.
A wet passionate kiss beats a “playful punch” any day of the week.
Risk little win little. This is why so many people end up in the “Friend Zone” they’re not willing to take a risk.
Rejection saves everyone time and wasted emotion. It’s not fair to have a “hidden agenda” while faking a platonic friendship.
Just tell her out right you want to take her out on date and see what she says. If it’s not worth asking for it’s not worth having.
In all honesty you have very little to lose and a lot you could gain. Best wishes!
StarshipNomadParticipantJune 11, 2018 at 3:54 am #176654
I find that being friends first makes for a better relationship, your usually more open with your friends and more likely to show them your flaws so they already know what they’re getting into. You generally have everything out on the table. Not to say it will 100% work out, that you won’t know until it happens, but I definitely feel you have a leg up as friends. I suggest if you both mutually seem to like each other she’s probably waiting around for you to ask, if you’re careful about how you ask, inviting her to hang out outside of just friend groups and making an effort to give away that your interested without coming on strongly to see if she backs off or goes for it. That way if she does pick up on it and kind of backs off you’ll know to just go back to being friends. Then you can go back to group outings.
This has worked with me in friend to significant other situations.
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