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superliminalParticipantMarch 26, 2013 at 1:20 pm #26885
So I know this girl likes me, she’s not really hiding it and I really liked her at first, but know I’m starting to feel unsure as to if I do or not. I don’t know if I should just ask her out and see how it goes, or think if I’m already starting to doubt her it’ll just get worse.
slobeachboyParticipantMarch 26, 2013 at 2:44 pm #26902
Well, this is certainly a first. Most people on here are afraid of rejection but it sounds like you are more afraid of having to eventually reject others. Either that or you are just one of those wishy-washy people who never knows what they want.
Anyway my advice to you is to stop overanalyzing everything and just get on with it. The whole point of dating is to find out if we are compatible with someone or not – compatible, mentally, emotionally, and physically (sexually). And just off the top of my head I can think of two separate occasions in which I almost changed my mind about going out on a first date with a girl after something she said or did turned me off to her. Yet in both of those cases I ended up in a serious relationship with the girl. If we all worried as much as you about the possible negative outcomes of our actions then none of us would ever get anything done in life. In fact we would probably all still be living in the Stone Age.
superliminalParticipantMarch 26, 2013 at 4:04 pm #26937
I’ll do it. It’s just all of my few relationships have ended up with me over the course of a few weeks slowly start to hate being around the other person, then Ill do whatever I can to avoid them for about a week and break up with them. So it always ends up being a rather negative experience, but that’s really not a reason to not keep trying.
slobeachboyParticipantMarch 26, 2013 at 8:42 pm #26956
Yeah, I hear what you’re sayin’. I’ve always been very particular myself and everyday it seems there are fewer and fewer women I find attractive out there. And finding someone with the right personality is even harder. I will say this though. Whenever I go out on a date I always try to make it fun and enjoyable for both of us even if I’m not really feeling it for her. I just wont kiss her or be overly flirty so that she doesn’t think I’m more interested than I really am. But you can always find something to like about practically anyone and make it an enjoyable experience.
Of course from what you’re telling me it seems like your problem is not the first dates. Seems like you just get into relationships with women who you don’t really like that much to begin with. Usually this happens because the guy needs sex so he tries to overlook the fact that this girl is really not for him until eventually it gets the point where he cant stand to be around her. I did this once when I was much younger. I stayed with this girl for two years even though I was never really that into her. We even lived together and by the time it ended I couldn’t stand to even be in the same room as her. Mostly because she was a clingy insanely jealous type who smothered me and who had to constantly know where I was every second of the day. Anyway the point is I was settling from the very beginning of that relationship so that I would not have to worry about looking for sex all the time and not finding it (had a lot of very long dry spells when I was that age).
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