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RickJ12ParticipantJanuary 18, 2017 at 6:25 am #123371
Just a bit of background. Started speaking to a girl online about a month ago, messages were great, sensed we had a lot in common etc. We went on our first date last Friday, went so well, she was talking about stuff we could do in the future, making plans. She likes rugby and invited me to go with her to watch her team the following Sunday, we did, went really well again, we kissed, held hands, I went back to her place for a little bit but nothing happened.
So the third date is this week, I am going over to hers for the evening. She has already said she would prefer me not to stay over this early as she doesn’t want to spoil anything, which I’m totally fine with. In messages and stuff she is always talking about we we can do in the future, how happy and smiley she is which is obviously good.
The thing is I really really like her, I’m 28, had girlfriends and been on dates but never felt like this before. It seems ridiculous to start talking about being exclusive but I already want to?
melhall139ParticipantJanuary 18, 2017 at 9:09 pm #123581
There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to be exclusive. In fact, I applaud you! This has always been a complaint for women, so that is definitely a bonus point for you. Also, you are not rushing into anything by waiting to have sex. So continue to be yourself and take it slow. Also, be sure you BOTH understand what exclusive means. (This is a slick way for some men to go along with exclusivity just to get some).
woodj3ParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 2:16 pm #123939
I love knowing there are so many thoughtful men out there. I find myself having to clarify exclusivity. Transparency can really go a long way. Keep being a gentleman and showing/giving her the respect she deserves as an individual. Her setting these boundaries early is great! You being thoughtful to them is so great! On first impression, I want to tell you to trust your intuition and make sure you have the balance between intuition and anxiety.
richiroParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 3:15 pm #123962
the best thing to do when it comes to dating/love is to NOT have any rules. because for every rule there are a million cases that disprove of that rule.
so yes in general – one must watch out if things go too fast or somebody is pushing it. but that isn’t true always. there is also the phenomenon (if you’ve had some experience already) that .. “sometimes you just know.”
So.. my interpretatino of this is.. as long as the talking doens’t go way too far like… you’ve already planned your honeymoon and the name of your kids.. but just talk about fun things you are looking forward to being able to do – and lastly physically it’s lagged far behidn the talk.. i think it’s okay. it is very siimlar to my current relationship of just under 6 mos (one of the best i’ve had as well in my life of 48 yrs…)
if the talk feels uncomfy then just be frank about that and mention that… she’ll understand and if its not too hard to adjust together like that – i think this has TONS of potential.
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