Should I give up or keep trying?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I give up or keep trying?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2019 at 12:07 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Ograndeinquisidor
    Ograndeinquisidor
    Participant
    April 22, 2019 at 11:54 am #198996
    Should I give up or keep trying?

    At the beginning of the year, i texted a girl that was my colleague in a German course a few years ago and with whom I had not talked since then. I always had a huge crush on her, but back then she was too young (that was about 5 years ago and she was 15 and I was 20). So, after a few days of texting, i asked her out and we had coffee. We also exchanged some books, but nothing physical happened between us. Shortly after, i went to Europe and stayed there for a whole month, during which we texted each other a couple times. After I came back, we went out again. This time we went to the park. The thing is, nothing happened again. She talks a lot, so I couldn’t get that awkward pause that usually precedes a kiss. That was about a month ago and I haven’t talked to her since then. My question is: should I keep trying? Or should I just assume she doesn’t want anything with me and simply move on? And if I were to give it another try, what should I do to escalate things?

    Wongganteng99
    Wongganteng99
    Participant
    April 23, 2019 at 2:02 am #199001

    Hai…you need USE TEXTS TO MAKE MAN LOVE YOU???

    ThePerfectName
    ThePerfectName
    Participant
    April 23, 2019 at 6:45 am #199003

    I would say if you still like her and she wants to go out again. Go for it! Also there is no easy way to escalate especially if you aren’t used to physically touching someone on a date. If you go for a walk just hold her hand while you walk. If you have a hard time figuring out when you should just put out your hand and ask “Can you hold this for me” and they usually get the point and will laugh. I started doing this after a girl used it on me and I thought it was pretty damn cute. After holding hands it makes the other person more comfortable with you. If there is ever a high point in the conversation where you both laugh and you can look at her and she can look at you and smile and can go in for the kiss. And if she doesn’t want a kiss, but is still laughing and having a good time try again later on. It’s okay for someone to reject you and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you if that happens. Just make sure you keep your cool if things don’t go well

    LookingForFeedback
    LookingForFeedback
    Participant
    April 23, 2019 at 9:20 pm #199054

    I think perfectnames’ advice is pretty good.

    If you have a crush on someone it is worth it to keep trying until you a sure she isn’t interested. Is it crystal-clear that she understands you are interested in her/that these were dates? If its not clear, it might be worth saying clearly that you want it to be a date and setting up as romantic of an activity as possible (e.g. wine by the beach).

    mmcc.141
    mmcc.141
    Participant
    April 24, 2019 at 3:29 pm #199085

    I say give it a try, speak to her, judge her response from talking to her.. If you feel she is interested, great.. however if not then , then just leave her in future.

    Christina85864
    Christina85864
    Participant
    April 24, 2019 at 7:41 pm #199137

    I would say 100% you should try again. She might like you and wonder why you didn’t ask her out again. There’s no harm in trying. Especially since you’ve already been out a couple times, it’s more likely she’ll say yes. Maybe she was talking so much because she was nervous and wanted to impress you.

    jinx2019
    jinx2019
    Participant
    April 25, 2019 at 8:18 am #199146

    Keep trying, it looks like she likes since you are hanging out and texting most of the time. But let her know that you are interested in her and that you like her.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 28, 2019 at 1:39 am #199354

    After all of these years and going out on multiple occasions there is one reason why you have not kissed her.
    It is because (she’s unaware) your time together are “dates”.

    Most likely you have employed a cowardly approach to dating by asking if she wants to “hang out”.
    This strategy allows guys to feel better in the event a girl says “no”.
    (It’s not as if she turned him down romantically.)

    However the problem with this approach it makes the girl assume you’re just attempting to be her “friend”.
    Once you’re in the “friend zone” it’s hard to get out. The upside to early rejection is it saves time and money.

    It would be weird to {suddenly kiss her} out of the blue at this point.
    I get the sense you haven’t been “flirting” with one another at all.
    Generally before someone kisses another there has been some flirtatious banter.
    You may want to flirt with her over the phone and see if she flirts back.
    When together engage in incidental touching, flirt, laugh, and kiss.