Should I go on the date or is he playing me?

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Should I go on the date or is he playing me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 11:17 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    bree12
    bree12
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 2:38 pm #185835
    Should I go on the date or is he playing me?

    Hi i I got chatting to a guy online. . He asked me out and we went on a really nice first date. I did debate whether to go as after booking the date in his responses got further and further apart but he text me the day before our date, it was all good so I went. When I got there I was pleasantly surprised, we got on really well, neither of us were drinking and we really clicked and chatted away for hours. Before I left he asked me to go out with him again the following week. I text when I got home to be polite and say I’d had a nice evening, we exchanged a message then I didn’t hear from him for about 48 hours.
    To cut a long story short the communication with this guy is non existent, he text last night to say he’d booked the cinema tickets asked if I’d had a nice day etc but then doesn’t respond when I answer. Has anyone experienced this before?
    He is still very active online which is fair enough,.but the lack of contact is confusing. Why start a convo to not answer?

    MiaSara
    MiaSara
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 4:52 pm #185841

    I have had this happen a few times. It can be frustrating and I tend to lose interest when there is little to no communication between dates. I’ve concluded that some people just aren’t very good at communicating.. I suppose if you enjoyed your 1st date with him there is no harm in going out again. Perhaps give it another date or two to see how you feel.

    bree12
    bree12
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 8:54 am #185878

    Thanks, it’s hard not to take it as lack of interest but his initiative to arrange and book the 2nd date contradicts this. I did think his strong use of online dating may indicate he’s a bit of a player but I didn’t get that impression in person. It’s borderline rude at times but i guess there’s no harm in going and seeing what happens. I guess nowadays everyone is so text happy that it’s unusual to come across the opposite.

    MiaSara
    MiaSara
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 10:17 am #185903

    Yes, I agree and find it rude when I think I am in the middle of a texting conversation and then poof- the other person just stops. I find texting in general to be a rather horrible way to communicate but it appears to be the favored method to most. People communicate way better in person – which it appear this guy does. If you enjoyed the 1st date with this guy- keep saying yes until the answer is no.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 11:04 am #185919

    It sounds to me like he’s the type of guy who makes a date and does not feel the need to reaffirm it.
    He assumes if you said yes there is nothing more to discuss until you see each other again.
    Not everyone is text happy or enjoys talking on the phone. From what you said (in person) he is very personable.
    Maybe if things progress he may become more communicative even when you’re not together.

    It’s important to remember whenever you meet someone online that you’re in a competition.
    Odds are you are not the only girl he is in contact with and this doesn’t automatically make him a “player”.

    A company would interview (multiple candidates) to fill a key position.
    If you were looking for a job you wouldn’t just send your resume to (one company) and wait to see if they hired you!

    Until there has been a discussion about becoming an “exclusive couple” both people should be keeping their options open.
    Everyone is entitled to have their own mate selection/screening process.

    bree12
    bree12
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 11:16 am #185923

    Thanks for your reply, it’s very rational. I’ll just leave things as they are and hopefully I’ll hear something before our date.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 6:08 pm #186406

    yeah not sure on this one. since it’s only been 1 date we dont’ know him that well yet.
    dating is about GETTING TO KNOW THEM so you can make these choices when you have enough info.

    To me there isn’t enough to stop seeing him if you still want to and enjoy it.
    keep learning about him and we’ll see.

    enjoy!

    Wilx
    Wilx
    Participant
    October 8, 2018 at 9:24 am #186432

    If you enjoyed your first date with him the definetely go on the second one too.

    Anon90
    Anon90
    Participant
    October 10, 2018 at 11:52 am #186647

    Don’t read into online chat too much. There is a lot of factors that make online chat unreliable for understanding intention/circumstances. If you enjoyed the first date, go on the second. If you enjoy the second, go on a third. When you feel comfortable ask him what he wants out of your relationship. Guys sometimes need their hands held in dating after too many unsuccessful experiences or rejection fear.

    Justina1412
    Justina1412
    Participant
    October 15, 2018 at 1:50 pm #187046
    Reply To: Should I go on the date or is he playing me?

    There are two possibilities here. A – he is emotionally or relation-ally occupied. He might still be talking to an ex or figuring things out with another girl. His lack of responses might suggest that he is less interested in you than some other girls that he is dating. Men naturally are distant when they have multiple “things” going on at once. The fact that you met him online suggests that this is the most likely outcome here.

    B – and this one might be in tandem with the first one, but he is playing some texting games. He doesn’t want to come across as over-eager or needy and wants you to feel free to make the first move every now and then. He wants to appear busy and he wants to appear to have an active social life.

    I’m gonna go ahead and say that this guy probably has some of both A and B here but just schedule a date when he reaches out, or text him when you feel like it. If he continues to be distant you may just have to let him go and see if he ever comes back.