Should i keep trying with this girl ?

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Should i keep trying with this girl ?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    jinx2019
    jinx2019
    Participant
    April 25, 2019 at 11:35 am #199172
    Should i keep trying with this girl ?

    There is this girl i know through Facebook only.
    She is 21 & i’m 23. We text each other a lot and we exchanged numbers, but the thing is when i offered to call her so we can speak on the phone ( clearly better that just texting ), she says that she is not alone. Also i offered twice to come see her where she studies or even hang out, but she keeps making excuses like she is busy or she is going out with friends. The thing is i can’t blame her since we don’t know each other, we are like a bit more than strangers. I felt like i was the one doing all the effort for nothing so i figured out that she is just not interested and never texted her again. After 10 days, she texted and this was actually the first time she initiates the conversation and it looked like she missed our chats, now I’m confused. Maybe she is just shy or nervous ?
    I don’t want to make any more offers to come see her or call her because i will feel needy. How should i handle this ? Should i take it slow ?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 27, 2019 at 11:36 pm #199351

    “when i offered to call her so we can speak on the phone… she says that she is not alone”
    “she keeps making excuses like she is busy or she is going out with friends.”
    “I felt like i was the one doing all the effort for nothing….”

    Clearly she either has a boyfriend, possibly “catfishing you”, or she is NOT romantically interested in you.
    For whatever reason she has placed you in the “friend zone”.
    When you chose to disappear for 10 days she missed her (friend).

    Just because she finally broke down and initiated contact with you does not mean she wants to date you.
    Some people are known for never letting go. They will check back from time to time to verify (you’re) still into them.

    You should date other women and not dwell on her.
    If she reaches out to you feel free to keep things short or make excuses for why you can’t chat long.
    She’ll either make more of an effort or she’ll disappear altogether. In the mean time live your life.

    Gemini_Rising
    Gemini_Rising
    Participant
    April 29, 2019 at 3:12 am #199358

    As my screen name suggests my Rising Sign is Gemini. My Sun is in Pisces, which creates a mix of logic and compassion. I get why she may have had a change of heart. This could work for and against you. You did the right thing when she was toying with you, by disappearing for 10 days. Now, you have the choice to fall into the same mindset in the beginning and once again make all the effort, say to heck with her and move on, or to occasionally send her messages.

    In two of the choices, you can also hope that she is not as superficial as she was earlier. In other words, I agree with Dashing Scorpio and I hope all this works out well for you.

    SilverEagle907
    SilverEagle907
    Participant
    May 20, 2019 at 7:16 pm #200789

    Jinx:

    We used to call this “Playing the Field.” That is when someone is spreading their options out wide and thin. Your gal pal there is playing the field and you are clearly looking for a Main Squeeze, a Queen Kamanawana Kissya. You exchanged URLs, but she reeled you in like a tuna. Here is how we know that. If someone has an interest, let’s call that a significant interest, they are like a possum on a june bug waiting for the opportunity to have coffee, tea, or jump out of an airplane with a bolt of cloth and make the parachute on the way down if it is a last minute call, text, or message in a bottle. Freeze! Step away from that text screen! You are in the “Reserves.” She has stacked you and packed you. Here is how you know. A person who really, really, really wants to go out with you will ALWAYS offer an alternative day. If you ask, him or her, and it is a “swing and a miss,” and that person doesn’t immediately offer an alternative date cool your jets.

    JohnDP
    JohnDP
    Participant
    August 3, 2019 at 6:34 pm #204790

    Sounds too me like she just wants attention. Do not initiate conversations with her anymore, but you can reply to her. Never suggest meeting, etc. She won’t get what she wants (attention) and will eventually stop contacting you.

    delericoh
    delericoh
    Participant
    August 4, 2019 at 2:58 am #204794

    Well, I’ve learned something new recently. There are some girl who like to GET TO KNOW YOU FIRST before they agree to do anything with you.
    Yes, she may have a BF, she may trully be busy, she may do this or that. But, first you have to know her, make her trust you and then go out.

    I met a girl at a concert last year. I add her on Facebook. She wished me a Happy birthday, then, we started talking.
    Then, she gave me her phone number. She started sending me pictures (not nudes), just selfies, and asking me how did she looked.
    We started talking daily, and then after 3 or 4 months, we went out. Just as we were about to Kiss, she told me that she had a boyfriend.

    Now we are Friends and I’m ok with that, she’s cool, we share a lot of stuff, but, in the long run, we were not going to last as a couple, we have different life styles. So, don’t rush anything. Make a list, see what else you can do and run out of resources before you decide to quit.
    Good luck! (: