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razzledazzle23ParticipantJuly 24, 2014 at 9:13 pm #58200
I am 23 and I have been “talking” to this guy for quite some time now. (I would say about 1-2 years) I REALLY like him. he makes me happy, I get excited whenever I see him. He also encourages me to be a better me. He is all I want in a man and more. But I am afraid I am waisting my time. He has not made me his girlfriend after all this time and doesnt show any signs of doing so. He says, all though he likes me, he doesnt know me well enough to be in a relationship with me. We have not gone through enough life experience to be in a relationship. He also wants his next relationship to be the person he can potentially marry. I understand if he wants his next girlfriend to be his potential wife but im just not sure how much longer I should wait for him.
Should I call it quits, or wait for him?
anne113ParticipantJuly 25, 2014 at 8:48 am #58207
I want to be the one to tell you to let him go, but I’m in a similar situation as you, and I’m not ready to let go. However, think of your happiness, after all that’s what matters. And no one knows him like you know him
AnonymousJuly 26, 2014 at 12:37 pm #58319
let him go! A guy that says he doesn’t know you well enough to be in a relationship with you after talking with you for over a year, I’m sorry to say….he is just plain not inspired enough to take things further. When a guy is interested and wants a woman, he will make the efforts. 23 is sooooo young! I thought I was ready for marriage at 23 as most people in their 20’s believe. Now that I am 40, I look back at that time in my life and am soooooo glad I did not get tied down. The 20’s are a SUPER SUPER developmental time in life. It’s the time to experiment, risk, learn to fall and get back up, figure out your passions and career, living on your own for the first time out of college and having a budget on a whole different level etc….there is soooo much to learn in the 20’s and getting married can really stunt that kind of growth due to the lack of freedom you have to design your life according to your own needs. I can’t tell you how many people end up having super
AnonymousJuly 26, 2014 at 12:41 pm #58320
super challenges in their 40’s and having this really high need for freedom because they got married when they were in their 20’s and never got to experience the full spectrum of life. You think he is all that you want, but you have barely lived and dated. I promise there are soooo many variations out there and you might find that although he is all that you want, there are other gentleman out there that are different in many ways and you will looooove that about them as well!!!! Let him go. You are sitting around waiting for him to choose you and that just doesn’t feel good! So choose yourself and go catch yourself another guy who cannot stand to be away from you! When a guy likes you, they will initiate plans with you, they will want to touch you, they will want to kiss you and they just can’t help themselves because you inspire that in them! You deserve to feel that and have that and this guy you are holding onto does not offer that to you….plain and simple.
AnonymousJuly 26, 2014 at 12:45 pm #58321
You may also find that by letting him go and moving on with your life, he may come running back to you. Sometimes we don’t know what we have until we lose it. He may find that he misses you and wants to be with you. Who the heck knows what will happen! I just know that you spending all of your energy, dreams and fantasies on a guy who is claiming he doesn’t know you well enough after a year, needs to hit the road….it’s obviously much easier said than done. But this is more about you loving yourself enough and valuing your heart soooo much that you only hand it over to a man that cares for it, loves it, wants to be in relationship with it and there is nothing stopping him from wanting to know you on every level. Go fight for that!!!!
ad360ParticipantJuly 27, 2014 at 8:12 am #58330
Theses are all really safe and smart choices on how to handle this situation. I’m gonna suggest a more risky approach. If he says you’re not his girlfriend, then don’t feel tethered to him, but don’t leave him, yet. Instead find another guy and play it off as he’s a new interest for you. If your man becomes a little jealous, confront him about it. If not, well then there’s your answer.
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