DatingAdvice Forum | Should I reach out to him or let it go?

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Heather4808

Participant

November 19, 2018 at 7:57 pm #189661

Should I reach out to him or let it go?

A much younger man was very interested in me (he’s 26, I’m 35). I tried to deny the attraction for a long time but eventually couldn’t resit any more and asked him if he wanted to get together.

I knew he was leaving town for several months but I wanted to spend time before he left to see if there was anything between us. We couldn’t deny the sparks between us and wound up sleeping together the first night. We were both very keen to keep in contact once he left, and we did for 2 weeks but I started to act a little needy when he started texting me less and I think I pushed him away.

Eventually he stopped texting me altogether. I wanted to talk to him so badly but waited for him to contact me first. 3 weeks went by and I sent him a text saying that I was thinking about him. He never wrote back. I’m not sure that he got my text at all. It’s now been 6 weeks. I can’t get over it. I really liked him and now I just feel used for sex. Would I look desperate if I reached out to him?

insomniac

Participant

November 20, 2018 at 5:24 pm #189673

Never mind how desperate it may seem or that you can’t seem to get over it or him…just “let go.” If he hasn’t contacted you, chances are, he has moved on. You are still young. Just think of it as one of life’s experiences. Learn from what you can of the situation and move on. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Just a suggestion…if you are looking for a relationship, don’t start it by giving in to the lust. You want to get to know the person first. I made a special friend online from another country. We were so compatible and corresponded for 2wks. Then he asked me to marry him for papers. When I opened up about my disappointment, he never contacted me again. I was devastated because I thought that I made a genuine friend of the opposite sex. It hurts because he came across so sincere. I, too, try to contact him and no answer. I asked myself too if I would look desperate to reach out again. Their lack of communication should ring loud and clear.

dashingscorpio

Participant

November 22, 2018 at 5:46 pm #189705

“.. eventually couldn’t resist any more and asked him if he wanted to get together.”
“I knew he was leaving town for several months but {I wanted to spend time} before he left..”
“We couldn’t deny the sparks between us and wound up sleeping together the first night.”
“It’s now been 6 weeks. I can’t get over it. I really liked him and now I just feel used for sex.”

You were the one who asked him out. You were the one who wanted to spend time together.
You knew he was going to be gone for (several months) when (you chose) to have sex with him.
You don’t suddenly get to paint yourself as a “victim” for doing what YOU wanted to do.

The only people who feel “used” after having sex are those who hoped by having sex it would solidify a relationship,
No one should be having sex with an agenda or expecting anything beyond an orgasm.
This is especially true of a 35 year old person who should not be confusing sex with love or seeing it as a stepping stone to more. Move on.

This reply was modified 10 months ago by dashingscorpio.

mscara

Participant

November 22, 2018 at 6:55 pm #189714

Make like Elsa from Frozen and LET IT GO!

dimaggio90

Participant

November 22, 2018 at 7:44 pm #189716

I agree, probably should let go.

pearlytwinkle

Participant

November 23, 2018 at 11:19 pm #189732

You should let it go.

p23

Participant

November 24, 2018 at 5:32 pm #189749

Let it go, move on.

BobbyCA007

Participant

November 24, 2018 at 9:55 pm #189763

You could text him and tell him that you previously sent him a text and wasn’t sure if he got it or not.
You could tell him that you feel used by him.