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scarcegoldParticipantSeptember 11, 2019 at 5:02 pm #206921
I have been dating this guy for a few months. He’s on the spectrum and have a whole different view on how the world works. He is not the first person on the spectrum I know so I kind of know what to expect since they’re all special in their own ways.
My issue is, we only hangout at my apartment and out doing stuff occasionally and when I asked to go to his house, he said no! He said , he doesn’t want me know where he lives yet because if things don’t work out, he doesn’t wanna have to worry about me trying to find him. (He was stalked by an ex girlfriend apparently)
My argument is , if he cant trust me enough then he should stop coming to my apartment too and just go on dates until we trust each other enough. Bear in mind I have a child he has insisted on meeting since she’s going to be a part of his life but I declined because its too early.
I haven’t seen him for a few days and he want to come and see me as usual. I don’t know what to say to him but I do really like him.
queenfakeyParticipantSeptember 15, 2019 at 6:50 pm #207033
I think talking to him about how you deserve to be given a fair chance is a good move. Of course it’s awful that he was stalked in the past, but you don’t deserve to be held to the same low standard, especially if you’ve been seeing each other a few months. Perhaps being open to compromise about him meeting your kid would be a good way for you to show that you do trust him and hope you can expect the same from him.
Michelle BehrensParticipantSeptember 16, 2019 at 11:42 pm #207134
For me, this raises a bright red flag. I’ve had many experiences through the years. I would be concerned it’s an excuse. It just doesn’t sound right, Aspergers or previously stalked, it feels more like there’s another reason he won’t have you over or go out much. Says to me he’s hiding your relationship. I know that sounds bad and not what you would want to hear. My previous experiences and others I have known who had similar situations, say you well may not be the only one. It’s happened to me two or three times. I looked for every excuse trying to be understanding and “nice.” You must put your emotional wellbeing first or you will wind up being hurt. I’d check him out thoroughly. His address can be obtained in one way or another. I became an amateur private detective, lol. I felt bad about it in the beginning but found a good number of people are not trustworthy. I was pretty mad more than a few times after checking out a new person. If it feels fishy it probably is.
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